Romancing Rachel

Frantic Friday

2012-02-10T12:50:00.000-05:00

I feel like I haven't blogged anything of real substance in a while and today really isn't going to be different. Just a brain dump of all the stuff that happened this week.

* I subbed at a high school today. I normally stick to middle school. They may be weird but at least they have respect. My first class today was so out of control I was ready to cry. And when a student called me a bitch (excuse the language, I rarely curse myself) I had it. I was ready to walk out and make them find a replacement sub. What is wrong with kids!?

* I've been slacking on running this week. I screwed up my ankle and had to take off last week running and somehow getting back into it this week has been hard. I've only done 5.5 miles all week and am supposed to have a 7mile one tomorrow. Better start eating my Wheaties!

* On a positive I have been getting into my gym routine again. I'm back to doing the weight lifting and even made sure to squeeze in the dreaded leg workout day this morning before teaching. Who knew that 5 little moves with no weights would make me unable to get up my own stairs!

* Softball season starts Sunday! Well, at least practice starts Sunday. I've decided to play 2 teams this season. My normal one that is an hour away and the co-ed team my church plays. That means Fri games in my town, Sun practice an hour away, Mon games an hour away. Welcome to spring craziness! I can't wait. And the excitement might have something to do with the new cleats I got. Now if I could only find my glove.

* Wedding season starts soon too. I've got a meeting tomorrow with a bride about a May wedding and it will be the 2nd wedding I do without my boss. We have 2 events on the same day so I'm heading up this one while she takes on the other. I can't wait. I love being surrounded by love!

* I have got to find meals to cook that can be re-heated easy. I'm tired of reaching for fast food or weird combos (like a bagel and pringles for dinner last night) because I'm working so much I don't have time to cook. Any suggestions?

Eff, Marry, Kill

2012-02-09T08:42:00.003-05:00

Ok this might be the best Link-up I've ever seen. The lovely Heather at Blonde, Undercover Blonde is hosting the Eff, Marry, Kill link-up. You have to decide who you'd like to practice making babies with, who you'd want to wake up with every day for the rest of your life and who you wouldn't mind killing off. Some of the ones that have linked up this week have me cracking up! I couldn't help but join in. So without further ado I present you you're choices.....

If you do not watch True Blood you are missing out! The eye candy alone makes the show so worth it. And for those who are book nerds like me and read the books first be warned, they seriously spiced the show up.

Anywho, there are your choices.

MY PICKS.....

EFF---- Eric. My god the man is hot! In the 1st season I just thought he was creepy but now he's growing on me. He's not such a bad vampire after all.

MARRY---- Alcide. Marry a guy who can't go in the sun and wants to drink my blood or marry a warewolf who can at least pretend to be normal. Duh! I'll go with the warewolf.

KILL---- Bill. I couldn't stand him in the books, I can't stand him on the show.

Oh How Pinteresting! #2

2012-02-08T08:14:00.002-05:00

It's that time of the week again. Time to show off the fun stuff my Pinterest addiction has gotten me to click on.

FEEDING MY POLKA DOT OBSESSION......

Source: ebay.com.au via Rachel on Pinterest

Source: us.dorothyperkins.com via Rachel on Pinterest

Source: beatbeatheartbeat.com via Rachel on Pinterest

Source: polyvore.com via Rachel on Pinterest

JUST FEEDING MYSELF......

Source: howsweeteats.com via Rachel on Pinterest

Source: dinnerwiththedonnells.blogspot.com via Rachel on Pinterest

Source: loveveggiesandyoga.com via Rachel on Pinterest

Source: cinnamonspiceandeverythingnice.com via Rachel on Pinterest

WORDS TO FEED MY SOUL....

Source: mmorris.webs.com via Rachel on Pinterest

Source: google.de via Rachel on Pinterest

Source: postsecretapp.com via Rachel on Pinterest

Source: yes-butno.tumblr.com via Rachel on Pinterest

Idiot Alert

2012-02-04T08:00:00.000-05:00

Ever do something you know is a bad idea? You think about it. You debate the options. And you still make the wrong choice KNOWING it isn't a smart choice? I hope so otherwise I'm the only idiot stressing mistakes.

I should probably explain what I did huh?

So since spring of 2010 I've been collecting letters to the troops from students. It started as a little idea for something to cheer SB up while he was on deployment and going through his tough time. I thought I'd be lucky to get 30 letters. That year I ended up with almost 400. The next year I got over 500! And then I had 100+ Christmas cards to send out this past Christmas. Now there is currently a stack of abut 400 letters setting on a shelf in my room for me to read through and send out. I know, none of that sounds bad. It all sound pretty nice actually.

Well there is a tiny problem.....

No matter how much time passes this is an SB project. He's the reason I started it and he impressed a teacher so much by writing hand written letters back to all 56 kids that he got letters from and even sent them coins from the country he was deployed in. The teacher talks about that every time this comes up. So what did I do?

I gave her his email address.

Told you I was an idiot! I know I should keep as far from him as possible. I know I shouldn't have anything to do with him. Even in some off the wall connected way. I need to keep him out of my life.

But he was so good with this project and she so wants him to participate with her class again. How could I say no?

She emailed me today to say she finally sent a message to him asking if he'd participate. I have no problem getting everything to her so she can send it out and I have nothing to do with him. But I know I should have just sent it to someone else. I shouldn't fuss with him.

It's too late to do anything now. I can't have her un-email him. I can only cross my fingers that it doesn't come back to bite me in the butt.

Meet Me!

2012-02-03T13:43:00.007-05:00

So it's dawned on me that while I'm sitting here pimping out a single friend why can't I put myself out there too?

I'm Rachel. 27 year old substitute teacher, waitress, softball player, 1/2 marathon runner, youth group leader and part time wedding coordinator. I don't know how to slow down well so I need a nice man who can keep up with me.

I'm a beach girl but not against relocating even a little bit. I have an intense desire to travel and would be happy if someone told me I needed to move to a new country just for the heck of it.

I guess you could say I'm a throwback when it comes to manners and sense of morals. I am pretty old fashioned and would love to find someone who believes chivalry isn't dead. I'm a hopeful romantic and would love to fall in love with the right man. If you know him (or are him!) let me know!

Meet Michael!

2012-02-03T13:02:00.001-05:00

So a couple times a year the beautiful Kelly at Kelly's Korner does a "show us your singles" Friday where we can pimp out our single friends. This time I've decided to show off one of my best friends.

Ladies, allow me to introduce you to Michael!

You ever do that "if we're 30 and not married we'll marry each other" thing with a friend? Well this is the guy I made that pack with. And since 30 is coming up sooner than we'd like to admit I'm really pushing to find him a nice girl. I adore him but his love for his 2 cats plus my horrible allergies means we'd have a bit of a weird marriage in 2 houses. We've known each other for 20 years so I think I have the right to pimp him out now!

Michael is 28 years old. He was in the Marines for 4 years right out of high school. He was a merchant marine. He currently works at a military museum giving tours and such as well as going to school full time.

Not only is he one of the most hard working guys I know, he recently has gotten very involved in his volunteer work with the Student Veterans Organization. His college didn't have one so he took it upon himself to get it started.

Ladies this is a man who is still a stupid romantic in a time when that's not maybe the coolest thing. He knows how to treat a woman, he is so big hearted and selfless at times it just amazes me. And goodness does he have the travel bug! I've never met anyone who is as open to just packing up and taking off for a weekend as Michael!

If you or someone you know sounds like a good match for Michael please leave a comment and let me know!

How Do I Deal?

2012-02-02T08:00:00.000-05:00

I have a problem and I don't know what to do. I don't know how to change my attitude towards a friend.

He is miserable. He's miserable all the time. I get more texts about how unhappy he is and how he doesn't want things to continue how they are but he doesn't know how to change them. He's not suicidal, just miserable. He's out of a bad relationship 6+months with the mother of his child. They share custody but he actually has the daughter more than the mother does. The mother is immature (at 21 most people are a bit immature) and most of the time he seems to not even be able to stand the woman. In fact, he's used some awful words when talking about her. Then other times, even when he can't stand her and wants nothing to do with her, he's telling me he wants to be with her, wants a family and all that jazz.

I don't understand it. I do understand wanting to be with the parent of your child. I can get that concept even without having any of my own kids to put myself in those shoes. But why say you want a family with someone you claim to hate? Why say you want to be with someone who has said multiple time she doesn't want to be with you and who you have said you don't want anything to do with? Isn't it better to be single and learn how to do the two-family household for the kid than be miserable trying to make it work with someone you hate?

I can only say that so many times to him before I sound like a broken record. I don't know what new advice he wants me to give. And he comes to me with this nearly daily.

The other thing I don't know how to react to anymore is him saying he wants to be happy but doesn't know how. How many times can I tell him if he wants to be happy then he needs to work on it instead of dwelling on the negative and going back to the same thoughts every day? Yes, I know I had a long road to be happy post-SB but you know what? I put it in my head that I wasn't going to let him ruin my life anymore and moved on. I try hard to focus on the good and forget the bad. I don't sit here hoping he walks in my life again. I don't hold out hope that things are going to change. I moved forward. Not saying I don't still have the occasional bad day where I want to kick him straight in the head or cry for no reason. But even on the bad days I take it as just that, a bad day or bad moment. I wake up the next day and choose to be happy. I work on being happy. I don't just expect everything to fall into place all the time but I know if given the choice of focusing on the good or the bad I'm picking the good every time. It's not worth it to keep thinking of the what if's and the coulda beens.

I keep trying to say these things to him but I feel like I'm being so cold and heartless. It's not that I don't care. I do. I don't want my friends to be miserable. But like my friends did with me post-SB I'm trying to get him to see the good and he refuses to. So what do I do without sounding like the ice queen?

Baby Blues

2012-02-01T08:00:00.000-05:00

No this is not another post about my horribly loud ticking biological clock. Well, not really. It's more about my fears of that clock.

At youth group on Sunday we had movie night and watched Facing the Giants. Now, this was no Academy Award winning movie. The kids loved it but even they will admit that it had horrible acting. The thing that hit me was the one plot line about the couple not being able to have a baby.

I have no idea why that hit me so hard. It seems the older I get the more I worry about if I'll be able to have kids. Not just if I will, but can I? I know that more and more people are getting married later and having kids later just fine. And my parents just had to think about having kids and they got pregnant so fertile genes run in my family. But what if it was just them? What if I have problems getting pregnant when I ever meet Prince Charmingenough? What if I can't ever have my own kids because I'm just too old?

Never mind the train of though that I may not meet Prince Charmingenough until I'm 40 and all my eggs have shriveled up and there is no chance of getting pregnant. That's a whole different can of worms to worry about but I'm pretty sure I've babbled on and on about how hard dating is these days.

Am I the only person who worries about things like this? Or at least the only single chick who does? I would understand this being a concern if I was married and trying and having a hard time. Why am I worried about stuff that really doesn't matter right now? Especially when 99.9% of the time I'm worried about preventing pregnancy!

Hair Today....

2012-01-31T10:03:00.002-05:00

Ok I admit it. I'm not exactly the hairstyle queen I'd love to be. I see all those messy cute hairstyles on Pinterest or on my friends and think "I can do that!" but in actuality when I try it ends up looking like I have a birds nest on my head and no one wants to look like that.

Well today I was determined not to look like a home for wild animals or do the typical hair down, headband on look that I tend to go for when I'm teaching. I knew I could do something a little more creative. And I knew it had to last all day because I'm teaching and then going right to the restaurant and frankly didn't want to have to waste time re-doing hair in between the two.

This is what happens when I get creative.....

Got to love that it's already falling in my face after an hour!

And messy as it looks in the back, I think it works for me today. I took a chunk of the top and pinned it up, did a messy bun, then braided two is the pieces of the top chunk. As you can tell there was no method to my pinning those down. Wherever they ended when I wrapped them around the bun was where they stayed. Then the middle piece of that top chunk I tried to poof up a little (fail!) and pinned it back and wrapped again around the bun. It might not be flawless but at least it's less boring then a ponytail! Right?

*And for those wondering, yes I'm reading blogs, yes it's hard to take a picture of the back of your own head, and no I didn't have even one student in the class when I was doing this. Got to love 2 hours of planning in the morning with nothing to do as a sub!

The Nail Files Link-Up

2012-01-27T08:57:00.003-05:00

That's it. It's official. I need to step away from Pinterest. I have now painted my nails 4 times in one months because I keep seeing new ideas I just HAVE to try. And after wanting to do a polka-dot theme nail and then seeing Michelle post about a polka dot mani yesterday I just had to try it. And lucky me, on Fridays Tara and Vicki host a Nail Files link up. Now I have an excuse to post my new looks every week!

I just used 99cent Wet & Wild nail polish. Red red and Tickled pink. I used the same white nail art polish for the white dots and actually used the end of a bobby pin to make the dots. Hey, I was improvising! It's a fun look for me. Especially since I'm polka dot obsessed!

So what are you waiting for? Go link up! Give me new ideas!

Killer Cravings

2012-01-26T08:00:00.000-05:00

Heaven help me when I get preganant and start having crazy lady cravings. As it is I already get someone in my head that I NEED to eat and that's it. Doesn't matter it I don't have what I need or don't know if it will turn out, I just NEED to cook it right then. That happened the other day. Someone at work was walking around with a grilled cheese in the kitchen and I started craving this avocado, bacon, grilled cheese type sandwhich I'd seen on Pinterest. It's all I could think about. So off I went to the grocery story.

I used the thin sliced chicken because it cooks quicker and because I really didn't want a normal thick chicken breast on a piece of bread. I cooked the chicken in a pan on the stove with a little garlic until it was cooked thru. As for the bacon I sliced it all in half and cooked it until about a min before it would really be done. If you turn off the heat the bacon will finish cooking in it's own grease. While those things were cooking on the stove I popped my bread in the toaster. If you use good bread instead of just plain ole Wonder I'd suggest sticking it in the broiler to toast up.

When the chicken and the bacon were done I started to layer. Since I used the thin chicken and small pieces I decided 2 pieces of chicken were good for me. I layered chicken, bacon, avocado, cheese. Wanted the cheese on top so it would all melt together nicely. To get it all melty I stuck it in the microwave for 30seconds. When it came out I almost didn't want to put it on the bread it looked so good.

Considering this was something I half found online and half mixed up myself I'd say it came out darn good! I cooked the entire package of chicken and bacon so I had leftover parts in the fridge to make it again. Or to use for whatever else sounded good this week. If you're into avocado (Yes Al, I'm talking to you!) You have to try this. It's so worth it!

Oh How Pinteresting Wednesday #1

2012-01-25T09:00:00.000-05:00

I'm linking up for the first time with Michelle over at The Vintage Apple for this weeks Oh How Pinteresting Wednesday. It's official. I am now a pinning addict like every other person out there. I've even already tried out a recipe or two and a new nail idea thanks to the site. Here are a few things I've fallen in love with this week.

CLOTHES I DROOL OVER:

Source: kristen-344.polyvore.com via Rachel on Pinterest

Source: polyvore.com via Rachel on Pinterest

FOOD I MUST COOK:

Source: jennasjourneyblog.blogspot.com via Rachel on Pinterest

Source: phamfatale.com via Rachel on Pinterest

Source: foodgawker.com via Rachel on Pinterest

Source: janalaurene.com via Rachel on Pinterest

WORDS THAT ARE GETTING ME THRU THE SINGLE SLUMP:

Source: Uploaded by user via Rachel on Pinterest

Source: sayingimages.com via Rachel on Pinterest

Source: pooflikemagic.tumblr.com via Rachel on Pinterest

Motivate Motivate Motivate

2012-01-24T08:00:00.000-05:00

Since I'm still in motivating mode I figured I'd share some of the quotes or pictures I've found and want to put up all around the house to keep me going

Source: Uploaded by user via Rachel on Pinterest

Source: rippedandfit.tumblr.com via Rachel on Pinterest

Source: runningandbeautifulabs.tumblr.com via Rachel on Pinterest

Source: thehealthychange.tumblr.com via Rachel on Pinterest

Source: bing.com via Rachel on Pinterest

AND BECAUSE SOMETIMES YOU JUST NEED A LITTLE LAUGHTER TO KEEP GOING.....

Source: Uploaded by user via Rachel on Pinterest

Run For It

2012-01-23T13:57:00.000-05:00

I need to be honest. I'm having a lot of trouble staying motivated this year to keep up the running/power walking training for the half marathon. I'm not getting to the gym as often as I should. I'm not eating the way I know I need to. I seem to have lost that drive I had last year to get fit and stay fit. I lost 40 pounds and have managed to gain 20 back. That's not what I want. It's not something I'm proud of. It's something I need to change.

Today I was putzing around on Facebook when a friend decided to start chatting with me. We'd gone for drinks last week after not seeing each other in 10 years. In the course of a glass of wine it came up that I am training again for the Shamrock 1/2. Well, this morning he tells me it was so great to see me last week and that we should go for a run sometime. Here I am in pj's complaining to Ms K via text about my lack of motivation when he suggests a weekend run. Seriously? God loves to talk loudly to me!

I was a little afraid to say yes. This guy was an Army drill Sergent and I can't finish a mile running straight through without wanting to die still. I can power walk it in about 13mins but running just is hard for me. I was honest with him and told him I'm a little afraid he'd kill me. He told me he would be gentle and to let him know when I'd be up for it. As soon as he signed off I realized I had no excuse not to go today so I text him and 15mins later he was at my door ready to go.

We planned a 2.5mile loop. Nothing too hard since I did manage a 5mile walk/run last week already and had a 6mile planned for Saturday. Want to know what happened? I didn't die! He didn't push me harder than I thought I could go. He encouraged me to jog when he could hear I was breathing and not wheezing anymore. He didn't make me feel pathetic for not being able to run more. He was fantastic. And he didn't make me feel bad about running into my house to throw up after sprinting the last bit of our run.

I'm proud of myself today. I ran more than I usually do without stopping to walk. I jogged when I couldn't run and felt like I needed to walk. I still probably walked more than a seasoned runner would but you know what? It was improvement for me and that's all that matters.

And then since I was all motivated and gross and sweaty anyhow I went from running to the gym to get in my Monday arm workout. I haven't followed my trainers schedule in quite some time but it felt good. I feel good. Believe it or not I'm hoping my friend has time to go with me again tomorrow.

It's Ok Thursday

2012-01-19T22:09:00.002-05:00

* To want to go back to school just for one or two math classes just for fun. I feel like my brain isn't getting the workout it needs and I crave the education.

*To really want to buy a road-id bracelet.

*To think I watch too many CSI type shows because running alone today made me think I need the road-id just in case some wack job attacked me when I was running and no one would know who I am.

*To want to see This Means War more than The Vow over Valentines because I detest mushy romance at any point around that dreaded holiday.

*To be thinking that some tax refund money just might have to go towards adding to my big bad tattoo when I haven't even gotten all my W2 forms.

*Want to go cough and sneeze all over teachers if it would make them sick just so I could go to work. I haven't subbed since last Thurs and am going nuts!

*To be happy that I'm shocking my mother. I've been going out and acting like a single 27 year old gal. There is nothing wrong with that!

*That I'm scared I'm not going to be prepared for the half marathon in March. For some reason training just seems harder this year.

Why We Do It

2012-01-19T08:00:00.000-05:00

After my little pity party Sunday night I saw this video on Sisters facebook and it just reminded me that no matter how sad and sappy and lonely I get there is still love and love is worth it.

Words To Remember

2012-01-16T08:00:00.001-05:00

Thank you Pinterest for helping me find words to keep me feeling positive when I'm sure I'm going to be alone forever.....

Wishful Thinking

2012-01-15T20:07:00.002-05:00

Sometimes it's just hard. Being single I mean. It get so hard. And I swear as I get older it gets harder. I hate being all "oh poor pitiful me" but tonight that's just the mood I'm in.

This weekend I spent Fri/Sat as a chaperon on a youth retreat. You wouldn't think that would be a place where being single is really obvious but it actually is. Our youth group is run by a married pastor, me, and two couples. And apparently there aren't single youth leaders because the other girls who help lead were looking for me. Every age appropriate man there had a wedding ring on. Whoever said church is a great place to meet men lied to me!

And then tonight I went out to dinner with 20 friends. I was looking forward to it right up until I got there and realized I was pretty much the single one. And not just that, I was somehow on the end of the table so I wasn't even able to chat it up with my closest friends. The table was 5 couples (4 married 1 practically married) 5 kids, one guy going thru a divorce (he got to sit at the cool end of the table) one couple that was dating and now have just split but hang out, a married girl whos hubby couldn't come and me. Now how awkward would you feel?

Don't get me wrong, I love my friends and was all too happy to snag a baby to hold onto for a while when parents needed a break but it's not the same. I see all the couples with the sly little touches that only come with the comfort of a relationship that has history. I see moms kiss their kids and dads wiping faces and I'm jealous. It was hard to be there with all them, even though they are some of my close friends.

I know I stand up and say I'm happy I'm single most days. And it's true. I would rather be single that with the wrong person there is no doubt about that. But really? I don't want to be single. I want to be happy with someone. I want to have that man I can count on for good days or bad. I want to be a parent. I want to be part of a family.

It's just not something that comes out of thin air. And let me tell you, for all of you not in the dating scene these days, it's NOT easy. You never know who you can trust and who to put your faith in. It's not easy to open up to a new man and just hope that he's worth it. I know, believe me, do I know. The Brit is just the most recent example of taking a risk and putting faith in someone that doesn't really deserve it.

There are days I wonder if it's ever going to happen. How is it someone like me, someone who so believes in love and romance and the happy ending can't find it? I'm not delusional, I know there are bad days in any relationship but I'll take those to get my happy ending. Someday right?

Nailed It!

2012-01-14T08:00:00.000-05:00

So I got tired of being a Tiffany & Co ad and decided it was time to change the nails. I couldn't help but wonder how the new nail art stickers everyone is talking about would work out. I will admit I wasn't willing to get the most expensive name brand ones just in case I couldn't really get the hang of it. I do hate to throw away money.
I have a thing for polka dots so I thought these were great! Plus it seems that winder makes a darker nail appropriate.

I managed to get them all on without tearing any of the stickers or sticking them to my fingers instead of my nails. I'd say not bad for my first try. Even if I did manage to somehow make one finger on each hand go in a different direction that the rest. We'll just say it was on purpose and it's supposed to be an accent nail!

So what do you think? Have you jumped on the nail art train yet? What brands do you use?

You Can Relate Right?

2012-01-13T08:00:00.001-05:00

You've been there before right?

Your husband makes you mad as soon as you walk through the door. You're steaming. You can't call anyone because, well, he will hear you on the phone. You can't yell at him, because, well, you don't even feel like looking at him.

You're working on this craft for your gorgeous dining room and you burn yourself with your hot glue gun. Not only that, but you paint a piece of work and as you stand up to show it off, you knock over the paint can and pink paint covers your new hardwood floors.

You peed in your home bathroom... and you were not alone for the 15th time today.

Your new date slightly resembles your father and it really makes you start to wonder..

Check out the new blog I've become a blogger for. It's a blog for women by women. The writers are married, single, engaged, mothers and kidless, workers and stay-at-home ladies. We vow to bring to you stories about relationships, married life, dating life, engaged life, children, crafts, and of course, new recipes that we have tried! They could be horrific, they could be inspiring. Either way, we hope you enjoy the read!

Sweet Vampire Killing Chicken AKA Garlic Brown Sugar Chicken

2012-01-12T08:00:00.000-05:00

Like every other person these days I've become a bit of a Pinterest addict. I have about 2 dozen new recipes to try out and having an unexpected night off of work meant I had no excuse not to channel my inner Julia Child and try something out. No surprise I went with a chicken dish. No matter what else may be in my freezer I will always have chicken on hand. This was a piece of cake to make. Even for a cooking challenged gal.

First things to do is get the ingredients.
Chicken (I used chicken tender cut but you could use normal chicken breast too)
Garlic (I love garlic in an abnormal way so I used 4 cloves, the original recipe called for one.)
Butter (Or not butter stuff if you're like me and haven't used real butter in a while)
Brown sugar (I grabbed dark for the picture but used light when I actually cooked.)

You'll notice I have a hard time when it comes to measuring things when cooking. I tend to go more on instinct so I'll explain the best I can.

*Brown butter (about 2 spoons full) and garlic (minced up) in a large pan.

*When all the butter is melty add the chicken. Cook on high until the chicken is cooked all the way thru. It took about 10mins for mine but then it was already cut into strips so it was thinner than if you're doing a full sized chicken breast.

*Once the chicken is done sprinkle the brown sugar over each piece of chicken, lightly covering each piece. You can be a little heavy handed with the brown sugar. It's ok. You know you have enough when it's all covered.

*Stir chicken in the butter/garlic and brown sugar until the sugar has melted. Just don't burn it!

I made corn and mac&cheese to go with mine but I bet it would be good over rice too. I was afraid it might be too sweet or the garlic would be an odd combo but somehow it works. I can't wait to make it again. Or dig into the leftovers.

Foreign Affairs

2012-01-11T09:18:00.002-05:00

Since I've decided to claim my year and enjoy 2012 as opposed to being a mopey, sad, pathetic, non-dating mess that I was in 2011 it might not hurt for me to tell you I've kicked off the year with a bang! Oh now get your heads out of the gutter! You know unless I'm sharing a completely embarrassing sex story I pretend I don't have a sex life on here. Some things are sacred after all!

I've met someone. Technically I met him in 2011 but since we met on the 21st of December and he left for England the next day and then we didn't see each other til this past Sunday I count him as the first new man of the year.

My best friend from forever ago was turning 28 on the 21st. It's scary since we agreed to marry each other if at 30 we're both single and that just keeps getting closer and closer. Well, that night he invited friends out for drinks and I decided to go. I thought I'd have one drink and be home by 11. Boy was I wrong! First off, he kept introducing me as his future wife. Do you know how awkward that is? Especially when I didn't know any of his other friends? At least he was nice enough to stop when The Brit got there.

Yes, the Brit. Another foreign boy. After Mr. Canada I swore I wasn't dating any more men that it took a passport to meet their parents. But then it's worked for Al so maybe it can work for me. If not, hey, at least it will be fun!

Anywho, when he got there best friend/future husband finally stopped saying we were getting married and instead started telling the Brit "don't screw this one up" I thought it was sweet of him to care enough to warn some guy off. Don't I have good friends?

Well, my one drink and home turned into one drink and closing the bar down with the guys that were out with best friend. Then we all headed back to best friends place. Unfortunately I couldn't stay there long thanks to his 2 cats and my massive allergies so I was doing the good bye thing when the Brit said he would rather go home than stay. Since he'd had too much to drink and drive I said I'd take him home. Turns out that was a really easy drive. We live 7 buildings apart in the same neighborhood! We got back to the complex and ended up sitting in the car from 3:30ish to 6:30! In the morning! Thank goodness I didn't have to teach that day or I'd have fallen asleep mid-lesson.

It was amazing how easy it was to spend time with him. And in true Rachel dating fashion he wasn't sticking around long. He had plans to leave the next day for England for the holidays. By the end of that first night we kept saying "it's just 14 days" and "two weeks isn't that long" Imagine my excitement when he text to tell me that his plane was delayed and he had one more night here! We most certainly took advantage of that!

Now he's home and I'll tell you all about that later. For now just know there is a potential new something in my life. And even if it turns into nothing, at least I'm trying again!

Claiming My Year

2012-01-06T08:00:00.002-05:00

Dear You

This year I will not let you hurt me. I refuse to spend another year crying over what I thought we had and what I thought my future would be like because you walked away from me. I've hit my limit of letting songs make me cry, pictures break my heart and memories crush me. You do not get this year. This is my year.

I will not let you make me bitter. I won't be angry at everyone I see who is in love and I won't cry through the weddings I work because I'm jealous. I'll still cry but it will be tears of joy for the new couple who found the one they were meant for. You do not have the power to make me that person I was last year. Not ever again. This is my year.

I will not waste one more year looking back. What might have been was wonderful. It was everything we ever wanted and you walked away. I realize that now. I fought. I did everything I could and you gave up. It wasn't me, it wasn't my fault and it wasn't something I was lacking. It was you. You gave up on me. You gave up on us. You walked away when things got rough and I refuse to waste one more second wondering what I could have done to make you stay. If you loved me you would have. There was nothing I could do. I'm not doubting myself anymore. This is my year.

I will not let you make me give up on love. I know it's real. I know we had it. And since I believed that was so good I can only imagine how amazing real love is going to be. I'm willing to wait. To be patient and let the right man find me. The one who WILL fight for me. Maybe it won't be this year. Maybe it won't be for the next 5 years. But I know that when it happens, and it will, I'll be open to it. I'm not closing myself off ever again. This is my year.

My 2012 Anthem

2012-01-05T08:04:00.002-05:00

You know the bed feels warmer
Sleeping here alone
You know I dream in colour
And do the things I want

You think you got the best of me
Think you had the last laugh
Bet you think that everything good is gone
Think you left me broken down
Think that I'd come running back
Baby you don't know me, cause you're dead wrong

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

You heard that I was starting over with someone new
They told you I was moving on over you

You didn't think that I'd come back
I'd come back swinging
You tried to break me, but you see

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

Thanks to you I got a new thing started
Thanks to you I'm not the broken hearted
Thanks to you I'm finally thinking bout me
You know in the end the day you left was just my beginning In the end...

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone
What doesn't kill you makes a fighter
Footsteps even lighter
Doesn't mean I'm over cause you're gone

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stronger
Just me, myself and I
What doesn't kill you makes you stronger
Stand a little taller
Doesn't mean I'm lonely when I'm alone

Best Resolution List

2012-01-04T21:37:00.004-05:00

Ok so it's that time of year when everyone posts their resolutions/goals ect. Myself included. Well I came across this list and it is the best one yet! Perfect for our generation!

1.Before you status update, Tweet, Tumble or Instagram, pause and say to yourself, “is it entirely necessary that I share this morsel of thought with my entire social network?”and if the answer is not, “yes, I absolutely must,” then step away from the Internet.

2.Know which candidate you’re going to vote for in the upcoming presidential election, and know why.

3.Enough with the 14-day juice cleanses. If you want to lose a little weight quickly, eat less and exercise like crazy. If you want to lose a lot of weight slowly, do whatever Jennifer Hudson did.

4.If you really like the person you’re hooking up with and would like them to be your boyfriend/ girlfriend, find a way to tell them, and hope for the best. If you don’t and wouldn’t, stop.

5.Find a way to save approximately 300 dollars and spend it on a flight to see a friend or family member who lives far away.

6.Please stop liking the Kardashians, all of them. It’s not helping anyone, least of all the Kardashians.

7.Spend less than or equal to the money you earn each month.

8.Wear clothes that fit you, especially to work.

9.Call someone on the phone at least once a week, and speak to him or her for at least ten minutes.

10.Start preparing now to get over the fact that Facebook is probably going to change again in six months. You’re not going to deactivate your account. You don’t know how.

11.Wait 30 seconds before you look up a fact you can’t remember on your phone, and try to remember it using your brain. This is what the olden days were like.

12.Replace one terrible reality show you’re currently watching with one wonderful scripted show currently available on television. Swap suggestion: Real Housewives of Anywhere for HBO’s Enlightened.

13.Try that food you think you don’t like but have never actually tried, unless it’s brussels sprouts. They really don’t need any more attention.

14.Cut one person out of your life who you truly do not like and add one person who you truly do. Note: not on Facebook, on Earth.

15.If you’re still blacking out regularly, you should stop.

16.Volunteer once over the next 90 days. You’ll feel really good about it, and probably end up volunteering again over the next 275.

17. Tell someone who you love that you love them on a more regular basis. To their face, not in a text.

18.Back up your entire online life onto an external hard drive, especially your photos.

19.Crap or get off the pot. This applies to whatever thing you’re not doing that you should just sack up and do already.

20. And in the eternal words of Tom Haverford, “TREAT YO SELF!”

How Do You Say It?

2012-01-03T08:00:00.000-05:00

Ok before you hit play please excuse the bedhead look. It was the end of the day and I was starting to get tired. But here you go! My 1st vlog!

SAY THESE WORDS:
Aunt, Route, Wash, Oil, Theater, Iron, Salmon, Caramel, Fire, Water, Sure, Data, Ruin, Crayon, Toilet, New Orleans, Pecan, Both, Again, Probably, Spitting Image, Alabama, Lawyer, Coupon, Mayonnaise, Syrup, Pajamas, Caught

ANSWER THESE QUESTIONS:
What is it called when you throw toilet paper on a house?
What is the bug that when you touch it, it curls into a ball?
What is the bubble carbonated drink called?
What do you call gym shoes?
What do you say to address a group of people?
What do you call the kind of spider that has an oval-shaped body and extremely long legs?
What do you call your grandparents?
What do you call the wheeled contraption in which you carry groceries at the supermarket?
What do you call it when it rains and the sun is shining?
What is the thing you use to change the tv channel?

Positive Thinking

2012-01-02T08:30:00.000-05:00

So with it being a new year I can't help but think about the things I want to accomplish. It's not a goal list or a resolutions type thing. It's just that I think if you put the positive thought out there and write down things you hope for it makes it more possible. Do I sound like a complete fortune cookie?

*I want to finish enlisting in the Navy. I know how funny that sounds but for the past 15 months I've been busting my butt to lose the weight I needed, find and re-find all my medical records, take and pass the ASVAB with a high score. I've done everything I can at this point and just need the Navy to get their act together. I went back up to Richmond last Thursday with my uncle (hey, he's high ranking I was gonna use it to my advantage!) and it looks like by February/March I should know when I leave. And after meeting someone today who does the job I want and hearing her say that the job is worth waiting to get into I'm even more excited than ever to enlist.

*I am going to complete more races this year. I've already signed up for my 2nd half marathon and want to do the 14k in February and maybe even manage a full marathon before the end of the year. I want to get better at softball. Hopefully with no more blackeyes! I am trying to work my schedule at the restaurant to allow me to play on 2 teams this spring. I never thought I'd be considered an althete but I am and I love it!

*I'm going to love. Love friends, love family, love myself more, and with any luck love an amazing man. I'm regained my faith in love in the past few months. I might not have that special guy right now but you know what, I believe I will. Someday.

Little Blue Box

2012-01-01T19:31:00.002-05:00

Ok so I've done it. I've become a pinterest addict. I had an account for ages but without a computer there was no way for me to really use it. Now that I've got my adorable pink laptop I can pin away! This week I found this picture and had to try it.
I am a tiny bit of a Tiffany & Co fan. When I was in Vegas a few years ago I got to try on engagement rings there on my birthday. Who wouldn't have fun with that? So practical or not I had to try this nail art out.

That is my finished result! It's not perfect, my lines are a little crooked and the bow leaves something to be desired but I'm proud of my first attempt at something I found online. I used Revlon Blue Lagoon nail polish for the base and I had a white nail art polish to do the rest. I swear I had a nail art pen somewhere but it seems to have wandered off.

So what have you tried after finding a good idea online?

Out With The Old....

2011-12-31T15:56:00.002-05:00

Just wanted to say Happy New Years Eve yall! Hope everyone has a wonderful (safe) night.

If you're going out tip your waitresses well (hey, I'll be stuck waiting on people all night so I know what it's like!)

Call AAA Tipsy Tow if you need a ride home! 1-800-222-4357. They will take you and your car back home if you have a bit too much champagne.

And if you're staying home tonight, I hope you have a lovely someone to smooch at midnight!

Bring on 2012! I'm looking forward to a great new year!

Reading Recap

2011-12-30T15:04:00.003-05:00

Ok so I've slacked off posting about all the books I've been reading but that doesn't mean I've stopped reading this year. I figured I should round out the post with everything I've devoured since August. No reviews, just a list. I feel like I've read more than this but it's all I have listed (yes I keep a list) So what do I need to put on my MUST READ list for 2012?

59. The Divorce Party- Laura Dave

60. The Tenth Circle- Jodi Picoult

61. Salem Falls- Jodi Picoult

62. Jingle Bell Rock- Lori Foster and 6 other authors

63. Three- Noelle Mack

64. To All A Good Night- Donna Kauffman, Jill Shalvis, Helen Kay Dimon

65. Pieces of Happily Ever After- Irene Zutell

66. Percy Jackson: The Sea of Monsters- Rick Riordan

67. Percy Jackson: The Titan's Curse- Rick Riordan

68. Percy Jackson: The Battle of the Labyrinth- Rick Riordan

69. Percy Jackson: The Last Olympian- Rick Riordan

70. Heros of Olympus: The Lost Hero- Rick Riordan

71. Smart & Sexy- Jill Shalvis

An Unexpected Christmas

2011-12-27T09:47:00.003-05:00

I go to a pretty non-traditional church. Our pastors wear flip flops and Hawaiian shirts and we have service at the beach. I don't mean in a building near the beach, I mean in the sand on the beach. We show clips of Bill Engval and Schindlers List. We laugh all the time. I love my church. And of course Saturdays Christmas Eve service didn't disappoint.

The service was full of Christmas tunes, funny videos, and an amazingly unexpected Christmas gift. I help with communion every week. This week my job was to pass out an offering envelope to everyone over the age of 10 and give them a "candle" flashlight thing. Here I am passing out hundreds of envelopes and had no idea what was coming.

When everyone had taken communion and went back to their seats Pastor Steve told us what the offering envelope was for. You have to understand, we don't do a formal offering. We have boxes outside the sanctuary that we just drop an offering in if we want to after service so this was a bit odd. Inside each envelope was $20. We were to show grace to someone, anyone, in the next 48 hours. The outside of the envelope had a message about why we celebrate Christmas and a website for them to post how they got their unexpected gift. The only rule we had was that it couldn't go to anyone we knew.

For me I couldn't wait to give it away. For two reasons. One, my purse tends to eat things and I may never have found the envelope again if I didn't and two, I just thought it was such an amazing idea that I wanted to make someone elses night too. I left church and headed right to my dads for the evening. All the way down I was trying to figure out how I was going to be able to give away my envelope when I wasn't going to see any strangers in 48 hours. Lucky for me my dad needed me to stop at the grocery store on my way. Almost everyone I encountered there was cranky. I know it was 5pm on Christmas Eve and stress happens but come on! Well, the girl who was working the register was so cheerful and so polite that I just had to give it to her. As I was grabbing my bags I slid the envelope to her and said "Merry Christmas" and walked away. I have no idea if she opened it or tossed it, what her reaction may have been. But I hope she opened it and it made her night just a tiny bit better since she had to work on Christmas Eve. What would you have done with an envelope like that?

Oh! Let me leave you with the video for service. Makes you feel a bit bad for Santa!

Merry Day After Christmas

2011-12-26T08:15:00.002-05:00

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday yesterday! I know I've been AWFUL about posting the past week but with all the holiday chaos and lack of computer it's been a bit hard to keep up. But guess what? I won't have that problem anymore!
Yup! That's right. Santa (aka Mom) brought me a new laptop. A nice little Dell. And in case I wasn't thrilled to have a beautiful metallic blue laptop Mom said she wasted money to make me really happy. She got me a pink cover for the computer so it matched everything else she got me for Christmas. Of course I booted it up right away and have been having a field day being able to get on a computer that works without having to go to the library. Safe to say I'm happy!

The whole holiday weekend was wonderful. Church service on Christmas Eve was great. I love going to a non-traditional church because we have so much fun. Spending time with Sister and Dad on Christmas Eve / Christmas Morning is always my favorite part of the holiday. We laughed and laughed and laughed. And dad made my favorite twice baked potatoes that he makes like no one else. I brought one home. I see it being lunch today. And of course spending time with Mom and her side of the family was an experience. Got to love family right?

I hope everyone out there had a wonderful holiday full of family and love. Because after all, it's not about the gifts, it's about being together with those you care about.

It's Almost Christmas!

2011-12-22T08:00:00.000-05:00

I've seen this q&a popping up and figured since we're nearly to Christmas it would be a good one to fill out.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
A mix. I love wrapping paper because I'm big on clean lines and fun designs. But sometimes it's just too darn hard to wrap an awkward shaped presents and then I'm really thankful to whoever came up with gift bags!

2. Real tree or Artificial?
Real! I love going out to find the right tree, how the house smells, the look of real.

3. When do you put up the tree?
Usually in the first week of December my family puts up a tree but this year neither parent has put up trees! Though my mom keeps saying she's going to get one on Saturday. Crazy lady!

4. When do you take the tree down?
Mom wants it down pretty much as soon as the presents are open. It never lasts til new years.

5. Do you like eggnog?
Never tried it.

6. Favorite gift received as a child?
Probably the year I was so into New Kids on the Block and got the NKOTB dolls and sweater and tapes.

7. Do you have a nativity scene?
No, but when I get my own place it's something I'd probably like to have.

8. Hardest person to buy for?
My dad! He always says he wants nothing or socks and undies!

9. Easiest person to buy for?
My mom. She picks out exactly what she wants.

10. Mail or email Christmas cards?
Mail.

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
Probably just ugly clothes.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie?
The Grinch! The animated one not the Jim Carey one.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
Sometime between September and Dec. I'm one of those people who gradually shops for gifts.

14. Ever recycled a Christmas present?
Not that I can remember.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
My dad bakes a ham on Christmas eve and I always look forward to that.

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree?
Clear

17. Favorite Christmas song?
Carol of the Bells by TSO

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?
Sister and I go back and forth from Dads in NC to moms so we do a little travel but nothing big. I like being home for Christmas.

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer?
Yes! I did it on Sunday at the youth Christmas party.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star?
Star

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
Stocking gifts on Christmas eve, the rest on Christmas morning.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year?
Traffic and rude people out shopping!

23. Favorite ornament, theme, or color?
Mom has an angel made out of a cotton seed that we got when we lived in TN that is my favorite ornament. It's made from a cotton pod-thing picked right from the plant. Love it!

24. What do you want for Christmas this year?
Just to be with my family. Last year Sister wasn't there and it made me a complete Scrooge!

Nearly Wordless Wednesday: How I Spent Saturday

2011-12-21T09:03:00.007-05:00

How I like to get snow for Christmas. Thank you High School Boy!

Lovely ladies at Busch Gardens.

Our dashing gentlemen.

High School Boy and me walking in a winter wonderland.

Well hello Santa!

'Tis The Season

2011-12-20T08:53:00.002-05:00

Apparently tis the season for the crazies to come out! I am still a bit in disbelief about what happened on Saturday. Some people are just too much!

I was on my way to get a little bit of shopping done. I needed cards and wrapping paper type stuff so I headed to a shopping center up the street from me. I changed my mind on which store to go to so turned down the aisle and nearly ran into a man and his 10ish yr old daughter who never looked before running between cars across the road. I gave the guy a dirty look because it irritated me. When the man started yelling at my CLOSED car window I did a very unladylike thing and flipped him the bird as I kept driving. Hey, I said it was unladylike.

When I parked my car at WalMart the man came running at me! He'd chased my car across the shopping center to come yell at me! He wanted to know how I could be the one to do something so rude when I nearly ran down his kids. He was screaming at me and making a fool of himself. I turned to him and pretty calmly said that he was an idiot to teach his kids to run through the road without looking, that someone is going to hit them one day and then I walked away. When I was walking he was still screaming about getting my license plate and whatnot.

I was just shaking my head as I did my shopping. What was he going to do with my license plate? Let the cops know I'm a bad driver? I think the speeding tickets I have let the city know that already!

When I got back out to my car the guy parked to cars from me asked if he could talk to me. He was so concerned because when he drove up some guy was taking a picture of my license plate. I told him what happened and his response made me laugh. "Well he's an idiot to let his kids run around!" Got to love strangers!

Wishing You A....

2011-12-15T10:30:00.000-05:00

This time of year there is always a debate on what is the "right" thing to say. Merry Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. Joyous Kwanzaa. Or just the generic Happy Holidays. I love listening to people debate which is right. Those who think we need to keep Christ in Christmas and if you don't like it, tough cookies. The uber PC who want nothing to do with a religious affiliation so they think ONLY Happy Holidays will do. And everything in between.

I've finally come up with my point of view on the matter. I'm all for not offending anyone. I know that no matter where I stand on this someone is going to think I'm wrong. Oh well!

I go with Happy Holidays. Not because I need to keep religion out of it, but because I have no idea what someone believes in. My customers at work could celebrate any of those and unless I ask I won't know. If it's someone I know is a Christmas person sure I'll say Merry Christmas. But what is so wrong with happy holidays? It's not offending anyone. It's not assuming someone celebrates Christmas when they might in fact be lighting a menorah instead.

Am I the only one who thinks about stuff like this? Do I just have too much free time lately to ponder this stuff? Or does it cross your mind too?

Christmas Bling

2011-12-14T08:00:00.001-05:00

On Sunday we had our Secret Sister Swap at church. It turns into a big ladies lunch with a craft project involved. While I went home covered in enough glitter that people had to be wondering what my 2nd job is, I did love the project we did.

How pretty are the ornaments we made? And for someone with no crafty bone in her body this was a piece of cake! You need just a handful of supplies.

*Clear glass ornaments
*Ribbon
*Loose glitter
*Pledge floor cleaner
*Q-tips

That's it!

Take the top off the ornament and squirt in a little of the Pledge cleaner. Gentely roll the ornament around to coat the inside completely. Be careful! If you swirl it too quick you get bubbles and you don't want that. If you get bubbles just use the Q-tip to tap them out. Be gentle! Pour out any extra liquid.

Pour glitter into the ornament. Put your finger over the top so that it doesn't just pour right back out while you swirl the ornament around to coat the inside with glitter. When it looks good and covered you can pour the extra glitter back out. Let it set for a few minuets before putting the top back on the ornament.

Pick a ribbon to match or contrast with your ornament and tie it in whatever type of bow you'd like. Then go hang your new pretty Christmas bling on your tree! Or collect them in a jar if you're like me and have no tree but need some Christmas cheer in the house!

Tuesday Catch Up

2011-12-13T09:00:00.000-05:00

I had every intention of doing a Misc Monday post yesterday but somehow time got away from me so now I'm playing catch up on Tuesday.

*Yesterday I got a wild hair to bake. I am NOT a baker. In fact Sister asked if the cookies were even edible because everyone knows I'm not so great at the baking thing. I can cook very well but something about baking just challenges me. They did all turn out ok. Though you might want some milk to soften them up a bit.
* After talking with friends and really thinking about the situation I've decided to just write Marine J off as a loss. It's not my place to say anything to the woman he's with now about his behavior. The best I can do is just hope she figures out what a schmuck he is before it's too late. And ok, I'll admit it. I may have Facebook stalked to see who the new girl is and it gave me a tiny thrill to see that she wasn't at all what I expected. I know, that's horrible. But come on, you've done it too!

*For La Tache.....here is the headband that I was talking about last week. Last year I had such a rough time with the holidays I was hardly seen in green and red. This year I'm back to my old self with tinsel practically coming out my ears. My coworkers and friends are going to think this is the only hair accesory I own with how often I've worn it. And am I the only one who thinks snowflakes are winter appropriate and that I don't have to pack it up until Valentines Day?

*I need to apologize real quick to those who had signed up for the Santa Swap. Due to a lack of participation it just never took off. Maybe I'll try again for a spring one

*My poor mailman is going to think I'm stalking him. In October I won a give-away on Ty's blog that included an Erin Condren planner and since then I've been keeping my eyes open for it to come in the mail. I'm like a kid waiting for Christmas hoping it shows up every day. And maybe this morning I was rationalizing that going to the gym will become easier when I have a planner to keep track of my workouts again. I know, that's awful!

*I am not a nail polish snob. Or a make-up snob. I tend to go with the cheap (but still good) cosmetics because I can't see spending a ton of money on something that is going to chip in a day or two. My only splurge is on those gel polish manicures at the salon every couple months. Well, this weekend I was given an OPI nail polish and decided to try it out right away. I might be a convert. I'm in love with the color and how well it went on in just one coat. It's called We'll Always Have Paris Suede.

Why Men Are Idiots: Reason #857

2011-12-10T10:14:00.002-05:00

Remember how I mentioned that Marine J kinda "forgot" some pretty big information? Things like being a dad and having a fiance? And then he went all MIA on me once he knew I was a teeny bit upset? Well we finally had it out this week. Turns out he's not just an idiot but may be one of the biggest jerks I've ever met!

I made him answer all my questions. Turns out he's been seeing his fiance since last winter. While I was sitting here wondering if he knew the girl was pregnant and how he got back together with her after we stopped talking I was wondering the wrong thing! They were together the whole freaking time! He knew the whole time he was going to be a father. From May-August while he was telling me he loved me and he wanted to be with me and he missed "us" he was also picking out baby names, decorating a nursery and trying to decide how to propose! This man, the one I thought was a good guy with a big heart, turned me into the other woman without me even knowing it!

I just couldn't believe what he was telling me when we were talking. It went against everything I ever thought about him. I think I must have said "How Could You!?" a dozen times. The best he could say was he was sorry and that he'd hate himself for what he did. Why do men do that? Make it sound like they feel bad when they knew they were in the wrong the whole time?

I asked him why he didn't just tell me he was seeing someone and expecting from the beginning. He actually told me he was too scared at how I would react and what I'd think of him. Hello! It's 2011! Half of our friends have kids and weren't married when they were conceived. I would have been happy for him had he been honest with me back in the spring. Now I just hope his doodads fall off!

My friends keep asking me what I'm going to do. If I'm going to say something to the fiance. I'm just not that girl. I pray she finds out what a schmuck he is before she ties the knot with him, but it's not my business. As for the friendship he and I had, well that's broken beyond repair. All because he couldn't man up and just be honest with me from the start. What is wrong with men!?

Say What?

2011-12-09T08:00:00.001-05:00

All week I've been keeping track of new articles that just stunned me. Usually they are education based and will lead to one heck of a ranting blog. But since I've got a handful for this week alone and by the time I could write about all of them it would be 2012 I figured I'd just give you this weeks astounding news.

In Tennessee a fire department let a families home burn to the ground because they didn't pay their $75 annual fee. Apparently the family lives outside the jurisdiction of any fire department and has to pay their way to be safe. And what really killed me when I read the article was the firemen saying they don't have the funds to help all the outer areas and yet they drove out to the house and just stood there as the whole thing burned down. Where is the common sense and human decency people!

Speaking of common sense, in North Carolina a 9 year old boy was suspended for 2 days for telling a friend his substitute teacher was cute. He didn't curse. He didn't say it to the teacher. He didn't even say she was sexy. Just an adorable 9 year old saying his sub was cute and she went to the school saying it was sexual harassment. Excuse me!? Are you crazy? I am a substitute teacher. In elementary school I have kids tell me I'm pretty or I'm ancient. In middle school they say I have nice make up or nice hair. In high school they propose to me. I take all of that and laugh it off. None of it is sexual harassment! The 8th grader who asked me to give him a massage might have been but I took that to the principal as a discipline issue and left it at that. Not to mention this kid didn't even say it to the teacher, he said it to a friend! What students don't talk about their teachers? I can tell you in high school I sat with friends talking about our cute young sub. I'd have been mortified if he overheard me but it was hardly sexual harassment. Crazy lady!

Then yesterday there was another article about this same thing. Apparently the suspension has been overturned (duh!) and the principal of that school has resigned. While I'm not 100% sure that him resigning was the best thing I can't help but wonder what other problems the principal had to lead him to do that. And I'm curious what kind of legal action this mom plans to take. The school board has apologized, they overturned the suspension and said it won't effect the students record, and the principal resigned. Now why push it anymore?

And in more education news, a 2nd grade teacher in NY told her class that Santa isn't real. Now, I understand she was teaching a lesson on the North Pole and maybe promoting Santa living there might not have been the most accurate idea. But there were much better ways to go about it without crushing these kids! In 2nd grade kids deserve to have a little fantasy still. I was reading the comments on the article and was getting so upset by all the people saying she did the right thing, that we shouldn't lie to our kids about things like that. Come on people! We're already pushing kids to grow up so fast why do we need to take that away from them? I'm 27 and while I know darn well Santa isn't real, there is still the whole spirit of Santa and Christmas that in and I don't think anyone should take that away. Especially not some mean teacher! Her students should give her coal!

Or pray for her. Oh wait! You can't have any sort of mix between school and religion. Especially not in New York! In NYC they even ban churches from holding service in schools. I'm not talking about during school hours but on Sunday mornings. I don't know about where you live but here so many churches are started in schools. My church was one of those. My high school always hosted churches. The churches had to rent the space, sometimes for $2000 or more a week, to be able to use the building, pay custodians and cover the cost of lighting and heating the space while service was there. No one ever said it was a constitutional issue to have them there. It was providing extra income for the city and the schools! No one was forcing students to go or even promoting it really. It was just like any other church. Come if you want, don't if you don't. Just happened to be held in the school. It killed me to read all the comments about how this was forcing religion on students and if it was a Muslim church no one would have been fighting it for fear of being called racist. People are just ignorant!

As you can see I really need to stop reading the news. It just makes me so angry to see such stupidity!

It's Ok....

2011-12-08T08:00:00.000-05:00

IT'S OK........

*To equate working in an elementary school class to trying to wrangle cats. 16 2nd graders for 2 days just about killed me!

*To like working in high school better than elementary school because I get asked for my hall pass in high school and get told I'm ancient in elementary school.

*To be happy to be in middle school with little deliquents because at least I'm not afraid to make them cry!

*To be sad we've had warm weather this week only because I wanted to wear my new boots.

*To be procrastinating putting away laundry because cleaning day is tomorrow and that means there is a deadline for it. Who cares that it's been sitting there for over a week.

*To wear my hair in a pony tail every day this week because I've been accenting it with a fun silver snowflake headband in honor of winter. Hey, I work with kids! They think it's cute.

*To still be unable to say I'm "dating" High School boy because I'm still too damaged from the past year. Even if we have date night once a week and I'm introducing him to friends next week and I've put more thought into his Christmas gift than any guy I've ever shopped for.

*To overschedule my day off Saturday with marathon training, horseback riding and babysitting instead of relaxing.

Nearly Wordless Wednesday: Surfin' Santa 5k Recap

2011-12-07T08:00:00.000-05:00

6am and we're ready to go!

Who knew gym clothes made me look like I had a boobjob!

6am makes for a cranky Sister!

She was worried our socks would make us look funny. Then she saw everyone else!

And we're off!

My goal was 45min, we finished at 44:02. Not bad for Sisters first race!

Needed to warm up afterwards. Can't wait for the next one!

Tick Tick Tick

2011-12-06T08:00:00.000-05:00

Can you hear it? That's my clock that seems to have been kick started on Sunday. I've never had baby fever. All my friends who are popping out kids like it's a cool thing to do keep me supplied with plenty of munchkins to spoil. I've always had that thought that someday I'd have my own. But good gracious! Sunday it was all I could think about.

There is this freaking adorable 2 year old girl who sits with her family behind me at church. She will shake your hand and say "It's a pleasure to meet you". She dances to all the worship songs in the morning. She hates going to kids church because it means she has to leave the music. I just love her. Well this week she decided she wanted to dance with me. I was holding her and dancing and maybe teaching her to stick out her tongue at people. It just felt so natural. And not scary for the first time!

Normally I'm all too happy to give kids back at the end of the day or as soon as they start to cry or fuss. But I was so sad to hand her over to her grandfather so she could go to kids church. It was like that tiny little girl push the GO button on my little, dusty biological clock. Now how do I make it stop?!

Misc Monday

2011-12-05T10:39:00.002-05:00

Because my head is just full of the most random stuff today I figure bullet points make more sense than trying to make it organized.

*I'm up to my ears in Christmas cards for the Youth & Military Project. The youth group signed something like 100 cards last night and I'm able to send out 14 packets of cards to men and women all over the world serving away from their families this year. I love it!

*I did my 2nd race on Saturday. Sister and I ran/walked the Surfin' Santa 5k at the oceanfront (goodness I love where I live!) I was so proud of her for finishing! But now I'm in race-mode and am ready to do another one asap!

*I finally got started on Christmas shopping. My dads wife is done! High School Boy is done! Sister is nearly done. Mom is done. Now what the heck do I get dad? If he doesn't give me a list he's getting socks and undies.

*This year I'm just not subbing enough. Aren't there more sick teachers out there? This girl wants to work! And since I'm not subbing I'm spending so much time sending out my resume I'm going cross eyed looking at the computer.

*13 days and I get to go to Busch Gardens winter wonderland thing. I'm so excited! It was going to be a fun night for me and High School boy and has actually turned into a group date type thing instead. Bring on the Christmas lights!

*I debated sending Christmas cards for the Y&M Project to Sugar Britches since the project started for him originally but after thinking about it I don't need to stress myself out with that at all! So as much as I hate that he'll spend another holiday alone, tough cookies for him.

*I'm making friends! I know how silly that sounds but it's hard to make friends as an adult. The other youth leaders at church have turned out to be great people who are a lot like me. It's fantastic.

*How is it that in December when it's 60degrees I think it's warm enough to wear a dress with bare legs but when it's 60degrees in April I still want flannel? It doesn't make sense. But I'm rocking a dress today anyhow.

Grown Up Christmas List

2011-12-02T12:31:00.006-05:00

Dear Santa....

Enterance fees paid for the VA is For Lovers 14k and Shamrock 1/2 Marathon.

I've Been Good This Year. I Promise!.....
A laptop. My computer finally bit the dust this year and I NEED one badly! Pink wouldn't hurt!

XOXO, Rachel.....

Silver monogram necklace. What every good Southern girl needs.

PS: There Are Extra Cookies In It For You If This Comes Giftwrapped!

One More Thing On My Plate

2011-12-01T11:29:00.003-05:00

Because I don't have enough going on with subbing, waitressing, a race on Saturday, horseback riding, tutoring, church, youth group, womens group, and trying to fit back in the jeans I bought last winter I've decided to add one more thing to the plate.

I've talked about my Youth & Military Project a bit in the past year or so since I kicked it off. I've sent out 20+ packages and nearly 1000 letters from kids to our troops overseas (even if some packages seem to have been lost in mail hell) This year is no different. I can't seem to let go of the project, even if it was started for SB and I'm trying NOT to remember him too much.

This holiday season my youth group at church will be the group of kids getting involved. On Sunday night we will be signing Christmas cards (and I mean lots of Christmas cards!) in the hopes that I'll be able to send out 10 packages of cards to different units all over the world. In my head I see it being 5-10 cards per unit so thats 50-100 cards to sign and 10 deployed men and women I need to be able to address these packages to and all that by Monday morning to get everything sent out. Yikes!

So while I'm off shopping for cards if you have anyone in your family or circle of friends that will be missing the holidays in the states thanks to serving our country please let me know. I'd love to have so many addresses I need to buy more cards!

Out For The Count

2011-11-28T11:03:00.002-05:00

I just wanted to pop on and ask yall to please excuse to total lack of exciting blogging lately. Not only have I done nothing but stress about Marine J and clean the house and work in the last week, but I've also caught the plague and my heart is going to haywire due to the stress and anxiety I'm slightly worried that I may end up having to actually go see a doctor this week. It's all around no fun! It feels like my head is in a vice, my heart is either going to pound out of my chest or just stop all together, and lets not even talk about the snot issue. Ew! Just gross! On top of all of that I have zero energy which means dragging my behind to the library to use a computer (since mine finally bit the dust at home!) and come up with something witty just hardly happens. Hopefully the army of germs that has invaded will decide to find a new host soon and I'll be back to my normal cheerful self but until then I'll leave you with the only thing that's really been cheering me up lately.

There's Something In The Hair

2011-11-26T11:59:00.002-05:00

When normal people are stressed or angry they write, cry, eat. Me? I change up the hair. This week I've been so emotional I should have stock in Kleenex and asprin so I stopped at the store and got a box of hair color. No more blonde for me! Might not have fixed any of the things that are making me cry rivers but at least I felt a bit cuter!

Playing On A Loop

2011-11-23T08:00:00.001-05:00

I wake up with blood-shot eyes
Struggled to memorize
The way it felt between your thighs
Pleasure that made you cry
Feels so good to be bad
Not worth the aftermath, after that
After that
Try to get you back

[Bridge]
I still don't have the reason
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a fuck about you

[Chorus]
Give me something to believe in
Cause I don't believe in you anymore
Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to try
(Yeah)
So this is goodbye

[Verse]
God damn my spinning head
Decisions that made my bed
Now I must lay in it
And deal with things I've left unsaid
I want to dive into you
Forget what you're going through
I get behind, make your move
Forget about the truth

[Bridge]
I still don't have the reason
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a fuck about you

[Chorus]
Give me something to believe in
Cause I don't believe in you anymore
Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference,
It even makes a difference to try
And you told me how you're feeling
But I don't believe it's true anymore
Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to cry
(Oh no)
So this is goodbye

[Breakdown]
I've been here before
One day I'll wake up
And it won't hurt anymore
You caught me in a lie
I have no alibi
The words you say don't have a meaning
Cause

[Bridge]
I still don't have the reason
And you don't have the time
And it really makes me wonder
If I ever gave a fuck about you
And I...and so this is goodbye

[Chorus]
Give me something to believe in
Cause I don't believe in you anymore
Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference,
It even makes a difference to try
And you told me how you're feeling
But I don't believe it's true anymore
Anymore
I wonder if it even makes a difference to cry
(Oh no)
So this is goodbye
So this is goodbye, yeah [x3]
(Oh no)

Let's Hit Rewind

2011-11-22T08:00:00.000-05:00

So yesterday was just one of those days. I didn't hardly sleep Sunday night because of how mad I was at Marine J. I ended up waking up at 5am still just all peeved and stressed out. I was giving myself a head ache I couldn't afford since I had to get motivated at 6:30 to go babysit. I made it the hour drive to BFF Ls house to watch her to munchkins by 8am. I figured it would be an easy day. Turned out way easier than I expected! She was back home from work by 9am. Yet somehow in that hour I managed to have her youngest son fall out of his little jumper thing (turns out it wasn't the first time, you have to lock it into place and I didn't know) and then end up kinda peed on. He was wet and leaked right into my lap! Good thing BFF L and I are the same size and I could borrow pants from her! Once she got home I went to swap my phone. I was trying to get the new one set up when I managed to lose every single one of my contacts and my facebook and my email. I was so frustrated driving to Verizon I thought I was going to cry! And all that managed to happen before 10am! Can you say major case of the Mondays? Here's to hoping today goes better! And if it doesn't at least I have a date with Mom G for Mexican tonight. There is nothing a margarita and some guacamole can't fix!

Oh! PS! Don't forget to go get signed up for the Santa Swap Ty and I are hosting!

How Do You Forget That!?

2011-11-21T10:30:00.004-05:00

I'm so angry right now I'm practically shaking. I don't know if I want to cry or hit something. I'm so disappointed in someone I don't know if it's possible to fix it. I'm just a mess!

All summer I was talking with Marine J about getting back together and if we could fix things that went wrong when we dated ages ago and whatnot. At the end of Aug he went kinda MIA on me and because I know the patters he follows I kinda knew it meant he found someone else. When he's afraid I might be upset with him he hides. Not very manly or Marine-like but it's how he is. When he finally popped back up at the end of Sept he admitted there was a girl and that he was sorry he just wasn't sure how to tell me. Of course I was a little hurt but I understood and wasn't mad at him. It's not like we'd nailed down any real plan to get back together, it was all just talk.

Since then we've carried on our friendship just like always. Talking every couple days, sharing texts about work and tattoos and family. Nothing out of the ordinary, nothing overly special.

Well, last night I was on facebook and his status said "Can't wait to get home to my babys" My blood literally went cold as I read the comments under the status about his NEWBORN DAUGHTER! That's right. Daughter. A daughter he didn't even tell me was coming. A daughter born on November 2nd which if you do the math means she was conceived February/March of this year and we didn't start talking about us as an "us" until May.

How could he not tell me? How could he have a full on conversation with me 3 days after she was born and not even mention it? It's not like he forgot to tell me what he had for lunch one day. He didn't tell me he's now a father! And we've had quite a few conversations since the 2nd. How does that not come up as an important detail?

I have a million questions right now and since he knows I'm upset he's hiding again so I can't even get answers. Was he talking with me while he was dating the mother? Did he even know she was pregnant? Is his current girl the mother anyhow? Is that why he went MIA on me in August? And how could he not tell me and really expect me not to find out?

Of all my ex's Marine J is the only one who I've never had a bad thing to say about. He's got a huge heart, he's a sweet man who did treat me well timing was just off back then. He may not be the smartest guy ever but he tries. He's just nice. Now I want to go kick him so hard his teeth rattle! I'm so disappointed that the one man who I still thought was a good guy, who never lied to me or manipulated me, has done something so awful! Last night I told my friend that this makes SB look a teeny tiny bit less like an awful jerk since at least he was honest with me about thing and didn't hide massive details! I just can't believe it!

Even as just his friend I can't understand how he did this. I don't get it!

I'm A Survivor

2011-11-18T07:00:00.000-05:00

So I survived the first year. You all know what I'm talking about. That first year post-breakup when all you can do is go "this time last year....." When random dates pop into your head because it was the first I Love You, the first fight, the first kiss. I cried a lot. I felt like I would never pull myself together. I got mad for falling apart over stupid thing. I made it through the anniversary of the night he was here with only a few tears (that happens when you have to work a wedding the same night!) I even managed to make it through our breakup day Monday without falling to pieces. As I sit here thinking about all that I some days feel like I lost I can't help but also think about all that I gained. All the things I'm so thankful for now that I never would have had if it wasn't for him.

*I learned what it's like to love. I know I loved Marine J and Mr. Canada. But it was nothing like this. The all consuming, someone else is more important than me love. And while it ended I can't help but think if what I thought was my "everything" turned out to be bad how much more amazing is the real thing going to be.

*I found my faith again. I've always been a religious person but having SB tell me he wanted to raise a family in a faith-filled house was kinda the kick in the butt I needed to get back into church. While there have been days I'm mad that I started going because of him I'm also thankful that I am there. I have made amazing friends, I'm so involved in the youth group and that is so rewarding, and I'm happy to be there.

*I realized just how great my friends are. It wasn't easy to tell people about me and SB for a lot of reasons. I knew people would judge us and the decisions we were making. But my friends stepped up and supported me in hard times. I had people like Mrs C who drove me to the airport the night he came and then started plotting Operation:Cow Poop the day he broke my heart. She's been there for the 2am breakdowns and random fits of the "I miss hims" that have happened in the past year.

*I've made great bonds with fellow bloggers. Complete strangers have been there to offer support and have shared their stories with me in a way that I never expected. I can't even say thank you enough to the girls who let me vent and cry and get angry without telling me it's time to move on. And I know how negative people can be out there. I have gotten nothing but encouragement from everyone and I'm so thankful!

*I've found softball! And races. And working out. And horseback riding. I know I started that to lose the weight for the navy but having all that to wear myself out on the days that the emotions were too much was fantastic. And now I'm healthier than ever. It's got to be better than eating a gallon of ice cream every night right? Plus I'm really starting to learn who I am, what I'm interested in. You know, finding hobbies as an adult!

I know that it's got to get boring hearing that I'm sad and I miss him and that I wish things were different. While all those things are still true often, I'm finding that more and more days are filling with me listing the good things instead. That's got to be progress!

You Know Who?

2011-11-17T07:34:00.005-05:00

So last night I stayed up WAY past my bedtime. I'm normally crashed out between 10-12 depending on how late I'm stuck at the restaurant or a wedding. Having to get up at 6am to teach some days makes me ok with being an old lady and going to bed before Leno is on. However, last night I just HAD to stay up!

See, my friend was on Last Call with Carson Daly! Yup, that's right. I know a famous person. In fact, I don't just kinda know him like he was some guy I went to the same school with. nope, he was my trainer when I started the weight loss, he lived at moms house for a year, and he was my date to Sisters wedding. Oh and I may or may not have seen him butt nekkid in the dining room on accident once.

That handsome man is Wil Willis. In 2009-2010 he had a show on the Military Channel called Special Ops Mission (click on the link and watch the clip on personal hygiene. I promise it's worth it!) And now he's about to debut a new show called Triggers: Wepons That Changed The World. That show starts November 30th at 10:00pm. Wil was an Army Ranger and Air Force Pararescue medica. He works for the same company my mom does and of course now is hosting shows too.

And how freaking cool is this? He called my mom yesterday to ask her to be his "date" to the east coast premier event in DC on December 6th. Red carpet event and everything. I'm a bit jealous!

But now if you see me today hand me coffee! While it was more than worth it to see Wil on Carson Daly, staying up til 2am and being back up at 6 is already kicking my butt and it's not even 8 yet!

Lingerie For Who!?

2011-11-16T07:00:00.000-05:00

Please tell me I'm not the only person who saw this article today about a Colorado store geared towards kids and teens that was selling crotchless undies! Am I the only one who sees something so very very wrong with this? At 27 I don't own things like that! You can bet your butt I wouldn't let my teenager buy them. Well, when I have teenagers. And my dad sure as heck wasn't letting me shop for that. I can still remember the exact day my dad stopped helping do my laundry. We were folding clothes together and he found a thong in the wash and freaked out. I was 18! Even that seemed scandalous.

I hate that we are pushing kids to grow up so quick. We have little girls dressing like little harlots and now apparently we're selling lingerie that is obviously for someone else to see to teenagers! Why? What is so wrong with kids being kids?

Obsession

2011-11-14T11:59:00.002-05:00

Oh heaven help me! I still can't figure out pinterest but I've now discovered polyvore and am having a field day with it. Safe to say my shopping list is quickly expanding. Here's some of the fun ideas I was playing around with.

Girls Night by rkyurko1984 featuring slim bootcut jeans

Errand outfit by rkyurko1984 featuring silver handbags

Date nite by rkyurko1984 featuring a red clutch

Now someone please come pull me away from the computer before this becomes a full blown obsession!

Back In The Saddle

2011-11-11T23:05:00.002-05:00

So the good news is I didn't die. Heck, I didn't even land in poop! The bad news is I had my first fall off the horse.

I normally ride on Saturday morning but since I had off today and so did my teacher we decided to meet up today. Her husband was out talking to us while we walked and trotted in circles. Then I got it into my head I wanted to run. I mean, I can trot why can't I run?

So she showed me what to do and I started running the straight path down the yard. It was abut the length of a football field. On about the third try my teacher decided not to run with me but to watch and see how I was doing. No problem!

Big Problem!!!!

All the sudden the nice horse was going way faster than I wanted to be going, towards a fence and taking me face first thru pine tree branches. I kept trying to slow down, to stop. But because I was so scared I was tightening my legs and leaning forward which in riding tells a horse to go faster. And then I could feel it. The saddle was slipping!

It was like something out of a comedy show. The whole saddle slid sideways and I was going right towards the dirt. I tucked my head in and did everything I could to land on my back, not my wrists. I did a darn good job of it too! I even managed to not land in poop!

When I fell I swear the horse just stopped, looked at me and laughed. She had to be thinking "you're not supposed to be down there!" My friends came running to make sure I was ok. I knew nothing was broken. I managed to get up on my own. You can see in the picture no one is holding me up and you can see the sideways saddle too!

I managed to get back up on the horse and ride for about 10 more mins before my fears got the best of me. I'm just glad I got back up! We'll see what happens now the next time I'm supposed to go.

Surfin' Santa

2011-11-07T08:00:00.000-05:00

Since I was having an "I feel fat and lazy" kinda week last week I realized I need to do something to kickstart my workouts again. A normal person would pull out their rec center card and head off to the gym. I'm not a normal person. What did I do?

Signed Sister and me up for a 5k! I know, I've done a 1/2 marathon so a 5k should be a piece of cake. But that was in March and it's November. So now I have until December 3rd to remember how to make it through more than a walk around the block without wanting to die. And convince Sister she'll be ok even though she's never done this before!

So You Want The Job?

2011-11-06T08:00:00.002-05:00

So the other day I was reading an article about visible tattoos and piercing and how they relate to your ability to get hired. And before I get on my soap box here I want yall to remember I have my own ink and have every intention of adding to it. I come from a family where tattoos are perfectly good 21st birthday presents. My father has his arms nearly covered, my sister had 6 or 7 of her own, my mother has 2 very visible tattoos. Not to mention some of the adorable men in my past have full sleeves and I have no issues with that at all!

That all being said, I loved this article. I even loved 98% of the comments attached to it. People today have forgotten that apperances do matter. They forget that even in a society where we shouldn't judge a book by it's cover, people still do! Especially in service industries. The restaurant my sister works at is tattoo friendly (good thing since some of hers are visible) but where I work isn't. She wouldn't want to work somewhere that she couldn't show off her tattoos and that's great for her. She wouldn't go looking for a job where it would make people uncomfortable either. We have plenty of people at my restaurant with tattoos who keep them covered for work and have adjusted to the standards of the job in order to stay there.

I want to know why anyone thinks they are entitled to a job. Why they think an employer has to hire them reguardless of apperance. In this job market it's hard enough to get a job when you go in dressed professional, ink covered, resume sparkling. What on earth makes someone think that if they go in looking a mess, typos all over the place and "PAIN" across their knuckles they should just be handed a job!? Hello! Are you crazy!? If you want the job act it! Present yourself in a manner that makes someone want to hire you, want to have you as part of their company.

I get it. Freedom of expression, no discrimination, blah blah blah. I also know I'm pretty old fashioned and think manners and apperance go a long way towards moving you in a positive direction. But really, am I that wrong? Is it that hard to put yourself together in a professional manner for 8 hours a day? If it really is, stop looking for those jobs and find one where you're not working in that environment and stop complaining that you're not getting hired as a banker. Oh and remember, the employer has the job you want and pays your check. They are the ones that get to make the rules.

One Year Ago

2011-11-05T08:00:00.001-04:00

One year ago I was freaking out about what to wear. Jeans or a dress. Boots or flats. Hair straight or curly. Glasses or contacts.

One year ago I was driving to the airport freaking out so bad I had to call Mrs. C to calm down. She proved what an amazing friend she is by making her now hubby get out of his pj's at 11pm to come with me to the airport and wait.

One year ago I was shaking going through security and worried that the plane was late. I forgot my ID in the car and had to take off my boots twice going through to finally get there.

One year ago I was checking out every person who walked through the gate. Waiting for that one familiar face to get there.

One year ago I was having that movie moment where time stopped and I ran into the arms of the man I loved. I didn't care who was watching, he was here with me finally.

One year ago I was having the first kiss I'd dreamed about for years. It was as perfect as I'd hoped and as heartbreaking as you could ever imagine.

One year ago I was saying goodbye to the man I loved. I hoped it wouldn't be the last but feared for what was going to happen next.

One year ago I never thought I'd be so broken that I couldn't believe in love anymore.

One year ago.

What A Way To End The Day

2011-11-04T13:00:00.001-04:00

Yesterday started so well. Good butt day. Peppermint mochas are back. And I was teaching for the 4th day in a row. Sounds great right?

It was until I got to school. My 15mins of homeroom were so awful I knew I was going to have a problem in class. When I released the kids to electives I got to check my email only to get the "we like you but we like someone else more" letter from the big bad job I really wanted.

By the time the kids came back the coffee was gone, I was done being mopey about the job and I was almost prepared for the kids. Or so I thought. Nothing prepares you for having to take sexual notes away from 8th graders who curse at you. Safe to say my day wasn't what I hoped.

I only had about an hour between teaching and waitressing to try and get rid of the head ache and get perky. Having great co-workers always makes my nights better. And while by the time I got off I was feeling less stressed I still couldn't wait for the day to be over.

On my way home I was texting with High School Boy. He knew about the job, the kids, and that I'd stopped for ice cream. I had to stop texting with him to talk with my mom when I got home. When I picked my phone back up I had a cryptic message saying to go look at my pumpkins. I thought he was crazy!

These were on top of my pumpkins. The card said "for when words can't soothe maybe these can. Oh and you should see your face right now." I could have cried! What a great way to end the day! Now if only I could stop worrying that he has the wrong idea about us.

The Good Butt Outfit

2011-11-04T08:00:00.000-04:00

Ok so I had a friend laugh at me for saying that a good butt day was as good as a good hair day and had a friend ask me what outfit made me feel that way so I figured I'd be a little vain and show off yesterdays outfit.

For those who follow me enough to remember me talking about my super big huge important interview this is the outfit I bought for that. (oh side note, I found out yesterday I did not get the job) I've repaired the skirt since the slight accident I had that day. The whole outfit is from Ross. $10 black layered pencil skirt. $10 cranberry top. Black belt from another Ross top I have. Necklace is from Tiffany & Co, watch is XOXO from JC Penny I got last year for Christmas.

I'm still struggling with the weight issue so I know it seems silly to take vanity pictures, but this is what's keeping me slightly motivated to step away from 5Guys burgers and grab a salad instead. This was proof for myself that a good butt day is better than a good hair day since obviously I was having a crap hair day yesterday!

And no outfit could have been complete without the little red cup! It really did make my day that it's that time of year again. Oh and please note my car keys are still in my hand. I swear I wasn't drinking, driving and taking pictures all at one time.

It's Ok.....

2011-11-03T08:00:00.001-04:00

Since I've been in a funk lately I thought this would be a good way to get back into a positive blogging mood.

IT'S OK.........

*To think that having a good butt day in my skirt is as great as having a good hair day. Especially when I'm not having a great hair day.

*That my morning kick started thanks to the little red cup at Starbucks.

*That the hardly 18 year old kid who made my peppermint mocha this morning made my day by saying I looked great today.

*To make the man in the car next to me laugh because I was singing and dancing to "Tainted Love" on my way to work.

*To be happy that I've worked in the same class for the past 4 days. Even if the kids are making me crazy at least I'm working!

*To be sad that on Saturday it's been 1 year since I picked SB up from the airport. I'm come to realize that I need to embrace my emotions in order to move on.

*For you to stop reading my blog and go right over to Michelle and read her post today. I love that she is bold enough to put her opinions out there. Especially when I agree with her! People really are dumb sometimes!

Kids Say The Darndest Things #851

2011-11-01T08:00:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I was in an 8th grade class. One student had already taken his one bathroom break and kept asking me if he could go out in the hallway. I kept telling him no. This wasn't some game I was going to let him play. He knew better than to keep asking. Finally he came up to my desk and just loud enough for me and the first row of kids to hear asked me again to go to the hallway. When I gave him the look he finally gave me a good enough reason.....

BUT MS. Y.....I HAVE TO BLOW WIND!

There was no way for me not to laugh at a statement like that. And yes, I did let him go out in the hallway after that!

Happy Halloween!

2011-10-31T10:52:00.001-04:00

Hope everyone has a spook-tacular Halloween. If you're dressing up remember ladies, classy over trashy! And enjoy the candy....it has no calories on a holiday!

Check Out The Goods!

2011-10-29T10:40:00.003-04:00

Ok so we all know there is always some giveaway going on in the blog world. You comment, you reblog, you spread the word and then someone else wins it. Well not this time! This time I actually won! And holy cow batman did I win!

My favorite girl Ty was doing one heck of a giveaway last week and yesterday as I was sitting through hour 6 at the mechanics cursing him for not working on my car and nearly dieing of the plague she emailed me to tell me I won!

This girl knows how to host a giveaway! Starbucks card, Erica Jong's Fear of Flying, Steal Magnolias (this movie should come with klenex!), adorable jewelry, fabulous note cards from Little Laws Prints (without the love quote on them of course) and best of all.....an Erin Condren planner! The type-A side of me is freaking out about that. I've been drooling over those but could not see spending the money on one right now when I have so many other things to take care of.

It's like Christmas came early! Thank you Ty!

How To Believe

2011-10-27T11:43:00.002-04:00

On Saturday night I had a completely breakdown. There is no other way to explain it. I was driving home from pumpkin day at my friends place and ended up sobbing on the phone with Mrs. C. She is the one person I know I can call and still have a meltdown about Sugar Britches without her saying "suck it up, it's been a year!" Well, almost a year. It was a Facebook thing that set me off. For some stupid reason seeing that he had commented on his brothers page made me be a complete idiot and ask his brother how he is doing.

What was I thinking!? And since his brother adores me and has no idea what happened last year he was all too happy to let me know SB has been stationed somewhere closer to me. That made me mad! I was happy knowing he was half way around the world. Now we're in the same freaking timezone again. Maybe not the same country and there is no chance he's going to be walking up my street any time soon, but still. In my irrational moment I was ticked off!

So by the time I got Mrs C on the phone I was a hot mess. Going from crying about how much I miss him and how much I wish he'd just show up on my doorstep with that beautiful ring we designed to being down right vicious and hoping he's a miserable man and kicking himself every single day for letting me get away after wanting me for 13 years.

While her and I were talking I finally said something out loud that I hadn't been able to really admit. I'm not sure I have it in me to really believe in love anymore. I've always been the girl from "He's Just Not That Into You" Her little speech hits me hard every time I hear it.

Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, Every story we're told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule. But sometimes we're so focused on finding our happy ending we don't learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe... it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is... just... moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope.

That's always been me. Never giving up hope. Always tossing myself right back out there. But this time I just can't seem to do it. I've tiptoed into dating a time or two but always use the "I'm too busy to date" excuse to get it to end. I walk away from decent guys and go on dates with men I know it won't go anywhere with. I don't know how to move on. I don't know how to get my trust in love back. He had all my love. He promised me forever and then threw me away. My confidence was shaken in a way it never was before. Marine J and Mr Canada hurt me, sure. But it was nothing like this.

How do I get it back? How long is it going to take for me to believe in love and happily ever after again? How do I risk everything when I thought I had it all?

Wordless Wednesday

2011-10-26T08:00:00.001-04:00

Eat Up!

2011-10-24T08:00:00.000-04:00

So last week I finally had a chance to cook. More often than not I'm running from one job to the next so I end up eating frozen dinners or sandwiches when I get home from the restaurant, or worse, eat Goldfish crackers for dinner! This last week I managed a day where I didn't work daytime and figured cooking a real meal for lunch would give me leftovers for later.

When I went grocery shopping I came across this Philadelphia cooking creme. I thought it couldn't hurt to try something new. I went with the savory garlic kind cause I have an un-natural obsession with garlic.

This was a piece of cake to make! I mean come on! It has 4 things in it!

1 pound of chicken- cut into bite size pieces and cook in a little butter until done. Add spinach and cook together until the spinach is all wilty. I used a good handful but probably should have gone with more than that. It really reduced when it was cooked. Add the entire container of Philadelphia spread and it will melt up into sauce.

While you're cooking the chicken cook about 2-3 cups of penne pasta. Drain it and when the chicken/spinach/sauce mix is all creamy add the pasta and mix it up.

Ta-da! Complete meal! The recipe is on the Philadelphia spread container and has yellow and red peppers added to it too but I wasn't sure about the peppers. This was good, but lacking something so next time I might cook the chicken with minced garlic and add some yellow peppers at least. But I'm thrilled to finally be cooking again! And trying something new.

How Riding Lessons Are Going.....

2011-10-23T08:00:00.000-04:00

I THINK THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE.

You Called Me?

2011-10-22T12:02:00.003-04:00

So there I was, relaxing in my pj's, eating my cereal, texting dad that I got a call for a 2nd interview when my phone started ringing. Sister was on the other end going "HELP!" On her way to work she managed to get a flat tire on a major highway and was scared and needed to be rescued. I couldn't stop laughing at the fact that she called me. The girl that blew up an engine because I didn't change the oil. The girl who's had so many flat tires Merchants has a speed lane for me go to thru. But I tossed on jeans and headed to help.

When I got out there she was too scared to get out of the car to see if she had a spare. When she realized that she did in fact have a spare she ventured out because we both know I wouldn't have been able to change the tire! Flat tire, check. Spare tire, check. Jack, ooops! Missing. So I got on the phone with a guy friend of mine to come help us out. At this point we were laughing so much it almost didn't matter we were on the side of the highway.

While we were waiting a ton of very nice people decided to honk at us. Cause we all know how helpful that is! One highway roadside assistance guy even pulled over, looked at us, and drove away without helping. Should have seen our angry faces then! Finally a nice highway roadside guy pulled over and got out of his car. Sister and I nearly died laughed when Mr Older Than Moses was hobbling towards her car. He looked like he was going to fall over dead any time! And after he changed the tire (and taught us that she has a funny looking locking lugnut on one tire) he told her she needs to get a real tire soon b/c her spare won't last forever and he might not be around much longer to help her out if she breaks down again.

I told her a couple days ago I needed a sister date because I missed her face. I didn't mean on the side of the road. But I do love this girl and even if we're stranded at least we're able to laugh together. It's great to have my sister and my best friend all wrapped up in one!

Help A Girl Out

2011-10-20T10:53:00.003-04:00

I think I may have mentioned a time or two dozen that one of my favorite bloggers out there is Ty. I started following her so long ago I can't even remember which post originally caught my eye. She is so much like me it's scary. Well, minus the whole law degree and adorable boyfriend thing. Those are things only she's got. Anywho, this is another kick butt girl who runs for a cause and right now she's raising money for the Boomer Esiason Foundation for Cystic Fibrosis. She's running to raise money to help people like her adorable boyfriend (who has CF) to "breathe easier" When I was running for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society Ty was the 1st person to donate to my cause and now I'm asking my readers to help a girl out. Skip your Starbucks today and head over to her donations page. Because when it comes to things like this, every dollar helps!

Interview Info

2011-10-19T09:37:00.002-04:00

So yesterday was the big interview. I spent the morning deciding that my closet held nothing appropriate to wear so I had to go shopping. Can I say how much I love Ross? I got the PERFECT outfit for under $20 and looked like a million bucks! Or at least I felt like I did. I dried my hair, did lovely subtle make-up, looked like a grown up and by 1:45 was ready to hit the road.

I knew it would take about 45 mins to get there so I gave myself an hour just in case. Good thing! I managed to hit an open draw bridge and two separate areas that were down to one lane thanks to road construction and it seemed every slow driver known to mankind was driving in front of me! My anxiety was so bad about being late that by the time I pulled onto the compound I was practically jumping out of my skin and still had to go thru security and the pass office!

Lucky for me I still made it on time, even if it was only by seconds. I was sitting in the lobby filling out the typical paperwork when one of my old co-workers came out to say hi. Just seeing a familiar face made me relax so much. I was talking to a second old co-worker when my interviewer came out to greet me. We went back to her office and sat talking for over an hour! I've never had an interview last that long. It was fantastic. We talked about the job, my expectations, what I'm worried about, how to handle the crazies that call sometimes with conspiracy theories.

After we finished talking she took me on a tour of the compound. As I stepped up into the truck I heard a sound no girl ever wants to hear. A tearing sound. Yup, I managed to tear my brand new skirt! The slit up the back became nearly indecent! Thank goodness I just had to sit in the truck and wasn't showing the goods to everyone!

When the tour was done she took me back to my old office area to say hi to the people I worked with and then walked me out, letting me know that I'd know by the end of the week one way or the other if I was right for the position. I've never had such an amazing interview before. I feel so confident about this job. I just keep putting positive vibes out there. I will get the job. I will get the job. I will get the job. Right?

Sugar High

2011-10-17T13:06:00.003-04:00

This heavenly piece of amazing red velvet cake with super creamy cream cheese icing is currently sitting on my desk making my entire classroom smell like a bakery. I finally have a quite planning bell with no students (who are awful today!) yelling and screaming and am indulging since liquor isn't acceptable in school. I'm just hoping to make it through the rest of the day without throwing a kid out. But if this afternoon is anything like this morning was it's not looking so great. Better get back to the cake before the kids come back. Because I'm not sharing!

Keep 'Em Coming!

2011-10-16T08:00:00.000-04:00

Ok yall, keep those good luck vibes and prayers coming my way. On Friday I got a phone call to interview for the big bad job that I really want. The woman hardly got out "Are you still interested" before I was saying yes and lining up the interview. So now on Tuesday at 3pm I'll be sitting down to talk to someone who already knows I kick butt to hopefully, finally, get a job that I can turn into a career. A job that will allow me to cut back on working 4 jobs (subbing, waitressing, tutoring and working for the wedding planner). A job that will even let me FINALLY move out! And that is something I need so much I can't even put it into words. So come on, keep the wishing on stars and rubbing Budda bellies going. I need all the help I can get!

I'm Getting Old

2011-10-15T09:34:00.003-04:00

Last night was my high schools homecoming game. It was the 50th anniversary of the school playing football there and it was the 10th anniversary of my homecoming game. A handful of the class of 2002 decided we needed to get together and reminisce about the "good old days" I can't remember the last time I was laughing til I was crying like I was last night. It was fantastic.

The booster club was trying to raise money for goodness only knows what now and a few of us couldn't help but buy the bracelets they had. The picture makes me think of Captain Planet. And for those that can't make out what it says on them its "Celebrating Kellam HS 50 Knight Years Later" Very punny right?

Ok, so maybe once a band geek always a band geek. While some of the people I was with were band people like me I was the only one who felt the need to get to the 50 yard line to watch the performance. The band is about 1/3 of the size it was when I marched and not quite as powerful as we were but it was great to remember all the nights I spent on this field.

And at the end of the night I may or may not have given a really good looking police officer my phone number as I was leaving the stadium with BFF L. What can I say? I love a man in uniform!

Big Possibilities

2011-10-13T09:52:00.004-04:00

*google image search

Cross your fingers. Your toes. Wish on stars. Do a good luck dance. Pray. Send good vibes my way. Any and all of that please!

Yesterday I went to a job fair that was a complete bust. Only one company was a possibility and while I have a phone interview with them tomorrow I've heard less than great things about the company so we'll see. After feeling a bit defeated by the job fair I decided to look on the website for the company I temped at last summer. They usually have some openings and I figured what could it hurt. I sent in my resume and then emailed one of the women I worked with asking if she'd put in a good word for me. The email I got back made me want to jump for joy!

Apparently they are still talking about how kick butt I was last year. I pulled in a pretty big amount of money when I was working on collections for them and they still remember that. Now they are talking about making a full time collections type position in the company since the accounting department doesn't have the time or resources to keep up with it and when it came up so did my name. Already I'm being thought of for a position they haven't fully created.

The woman said she put in a sparkling good recommendation for the position I applied for and she said she hopes that I'll be able to get back in the company so that when it comes time for that other position to open I'll have a leg up on the competition.

So like I said, cross you fingers, send happy vibes, all that good stuff. Because this is a company I really love working for and a position that could mean a huge change for me!

Why I'm A Nerd

2011-10-12T08:00:00.000-04:00

While it might be Lauras worst nightmare, I really want this clock! Could I be more of a nerd?

Random Round-up

2011-10-11T11:19:00.003-04:00

Holy cow was this last week chaotic! Tuesday alone I taught, tutored and babysat. I left my house at 7am and wasn't back until after 10. Then from Wed-Fri is was a work marathon. Waitressing to teaching to waitressing to teaching to waitressing. I was tearing through the kitchen in my dress from school so I could change and clock in on time. I feel like I haven't stopped running in weeks!

Saturday I had my 2nd horseback riding lesson. While my behind hurts from riding I really am loving it. It's amazing to have something just for me. An activity that I do because I want to. Not to get paid, because a team is depending on me, because I'm working. Just for fun. It was so relaxing being out there under this huge blue sky in the fresh air. I got to laugh and talk with a friend and just be.

Then it was back to the typical chaos of the weekend for me. I worked a wedding Saturday that was beautiful. The groom was the dorkiest guy ever but in that completely charming way. He didn't care that his dance skills remind people of Kevin James in Hitch, he was going to enjoy his wedding. The DJ rocked the place. And what kind of wedding could be boring when there is a french fry bar!? I love getting to be a part of peoples big days. It's fun.

I finally got a break yesterday. I was lined up to sub a middle school music class but it was canceled at the last moment. It meant for the first time in weeks I had NOTHING I had to do! I didn't know what to do with myself. I ended up going to have a friend check out the little things that are wrong with my car and then got a massage. I came home from that feeling the most relaxed I've felt in weeks.

I love being busy. I love that I'm working so much. But I need to remember to slow down now and again or I'm going to just drop one of these days! Today is another slow day, only tutoring, before the chaos takes off again. But after getting to finally wind down I'm ready for it. Bring it on!

There Is A Reason

2011-10-09T08:00:00.000-04:00

*thank you random Google search

City Slicker

2011-10-08T08:00:00.001-04:00

I love the blog world. Whenever I'm feeling a little writers block it seems all it takes is a blog-friend writing about something to inspire me. A lot of times its Ty because I swear there are days she's living in my head. This time it's Al. While she was talking about moving it was one tiny comment in her post that had me off in memory land.

When I was in college I was working a desk job during the day, going to school in the afternoon and working at a bar at night. This wasn't just any bar. Oh no, I was working at a country bar. Working at the bar introduced me to a whole new group of friends. They were regulars at the bar and I ended up dating one for a millisecond. Once that relationship was over I got to keep the friends though they had no idea what to do with me! I'm not country at all. A little southern, sure! I mean, I channel my inner southern belle quite well! But I don't own cowboy boots and if it wasn't for the fact that it was part of the uniform I wouldn't have owned a cowboy hat either. I don't understand belt buckles the size of dinner plates. Skoal rings in jeans pockets mystified me. And until 2 weeks ago I'd never been on a horse and heaven forbid yall try to get me in the dirt. It wasn't happening.

With this new group of friends I was having all kinds of new experiences. I learned that mudding was a big day event. That corn hole at weddings on a farm is appropriate. That sitting in the back of a truck while it's going down the highway is actually kinda fun!

They often were laughing at my lack of knowledge about good old country things. And the one moment I'll never forget is when I was going to watch bull riding for the first time. It was that time of year when it was chilly out and I had no idea what one wears to something like that. That in itself was a huge difference between me and them. I always cared about what to wear to an event and they figured jeans were ok for anything. Well, one of my friends went "Just wear jeans, a shirt and a Carhartt." I looked at him like he was speaking Greek. Jeans, check. Shirt, check. But what the heck is a Carhartt!? All the sudden I was the one speaking Greek. Apparently everyone should know what a Carhartt is. Did yall know it's a coat? Just a really warm one? I didn't!

In the years since then I have learned all kinds of new things from these friends. Including how to play beer pong (ok so not all the skills are important) and what it means to have friends that would do anything for me. But no matter how hard I try to seem a little less like a city alien to them they will never let me live down not knowing what a Carhartt is. Or that I hate dirt. And wear heels on a farm.

TGIF

2011-10-07T08:53:00.003-04:00

Giant coffee+pumpkin muffin+a day at my favorite school=One Happy Substitute Teacher!

This week has been CHAOS! I have worked back to back teaching and waitressing the past couple days and have a wedding to work tomorrow. I need the coffee fuel to make it through today! Though I will say I am thrilled to be at my favorite school in a class I love with work I did last year while I was here. I'm convinced it's going to be a great day! Hope yall have a wonderful Friday too!

*PS: You know you're channeling your inner-Southern girl when you wear pearls with jeans because it just seems wrong not to!

Be Kind

2011-10-04T10:45:00.002-04:00

Very rarely do I read articles I feel I just HAVE to share with everyone. Today however one caught my eye and I just wanted yall to read it. In school we talk so much about anti-bullying policies and in church we teach the kids to be kind to everyone and yet it's adults that do some of the worst name calling and damage to each other. Imagine if those same terms were applied to children and see if that doesn't put it in perspective for you a little. I don't care if you're pro-gay or anti-gay, aren't we all anti-hate?

Lessons From Sharing My (Possibly) Gay 6-Year Old Son

Another Bouquet Caught

2011-10-03T10:37:00.011-04:00

This summer I got the weirdest wedding invite ever! For months I've been joking about going to my friends redneck wedding. These are great friends of mine. Mr. C is like a brother to me and the new Mrs is the girl teaching me to ride a horse. They were having their wedding out on Mrs. Ls' family farm. Invites said jeans were acceptable and that we'd be sitting on hay bales and please bring food to share for the reception. Can I just say I was so surprised at how beautiful this wedding ended up being? The farm looked amazing. The sky was a blinding blue. It was perfect. And so very them!
I do have to admit I had a really hard time picking out clothes though. For most weddings I have dozens of dresses to pick from but what the heck does one wear to a farm wedding!? Jeggins, a shirt dress and boots thats what! Though I do wish I'd have gone with flats. I brought home so much dirt on my shoes!

The ceremony was short and sweet. Traditional vows and lots of emotion from the bride and groom. It was great to watch.

Since we were at the farm and there are all kinds of animals running around usually we threw fruit loops instead of rice at the newlyweds.

The best part of this wedding was seeing old friends. The group of us attending use to be a close bunch, all living here and seeing each other often. Now we're spread from VA to HI and yet everyone came back for the wedding.

Since it's a fun couple they did the traditional garter/bouquet toss. I think Mr. C was having a little too much fun!

I know he was having fun when he told the guy who caught the garter that the higher he got it up on my leg (since I caught my 4th bouquet!) the better luck the new couple would have in their marriage!

Any higher and I'd have asked for a date! I'm really glad the guy who caught the garter was a friend of mine or that could have been a bit awkward.

It was a stunning day and I'm so thrilled I was able to be a part of it. Especially to capture proof that Mrs. L will in fact put on a dress now and again!

I wish the new couple nothing but the best! And can't wait til the next one of our friends gets married to get us all together again.

Can I Have A Do-Over?

2011-09-30T09:09:00.002-04:00

It's Friday. I'm actually teaching. I made money last night at work. All these things point to it being a good day but believe me, it's not!

I couldn't sleep worth a snot last night. It seems that on the nights I have to get some sleep to wake up early I'm tossing and turning instead.

Then I headed to work. School was only 5mins from home. I left early anyhow thinking I could read over plans and get orriented to my classroom. For the first time in 4 years of subbing I went to the wrong school! I've subbed for this class before and still went to the wrong school! I felt like such an idiot.

Thankfully when I got to the right school they were understanding and I found out that while I had to be there at 7:15 I only had class to teach from 10:45-12:20. I got to my classroom, dressed in my 1950's dress and white wedge heels to find out that today is PT day for the naval science class. In other words I have to take my class outside to run and play football. Seriously!?

Let's hope things turn around because if it keeps going this way I'm not going to be a cheerful waitress to have tonight at all!

September Challenge: Day 30

2011-09-30T08:00:00.000-04:00

Day 30: Share A Picture You Love

This was from Sisters wedding day. We were at our moms house getting ready and I was picking on her for needing her pig with her even on her wedding day. We're just big kids sometimes! We just were goofy and laughing and having such a great time. There are dozens of pictures from her wedding day that are great, but I just love this one.

Ride Like The Wind

2011-09-29T12:00:00.000-04:00

I know I've mentioned that I'm tutoring this year. I have a college age kid who pays me $10 an hour because his dad said he needs to learn things don't come for free. I don't mind tutoring him even if sometimes it's like working with a little kid to keep him on track. And I'm not 100% sure his dad realizes that no matter how much they pay me, if the kid doesn't listen and apply what I'm telling him that it's not going to help.

I'm also tutoring a 5th grader who's mother is a friend of mine, Ms L. She told me that he was a little behind grade level in math and since I can do math in my sleep she wanted my help. When it came to talking about payment we went to the good old barter system. You know, trading goods or services for other goods or services. Something I think should still be in use more these days. It's how I get free massages! I good for my massage therapist and she gives me the massage. See? Great system! But back to tutoring bartering. This friend happens to own horses and ride competitively. I have never been on a horse. So what did we decide? I'd teach her son math, she'd teach me to ride!
This Saturday was my first lesson. All week I was getting teased by my friends. They know me as the city girl who comes to bbqs in heels. One of my friends asked if I even had a pair of non-heels and jeans to ride in! He only gave me a little bit of a hard time when he saw the pink shirt I wore to lessons.

I had a BLAST! Once I got over being scared to get on the horse that is. At first my friend just walked me around on it. Making me get use to sitting up there and the horse get use to me being there. She was teaching me how to turn and lead the way. Eventually she took the lead off and I was on my own. I was walking in figure 8's and trying to keep Dreamer (the horse) from going straight back to the barn. He wasn't happy about being out in the slight rain. But hey, if I could deal with it so could he!

Ms L couldn't help but laugh taking these pictures. I was giving the horses treats at the end of our lesson and it was so gross! It licked me! Ew!

Dirt, rain and horse slobber aside it really was a great experience. I can't wait to go again.

September Challenge: Day 29

2011-09-29T08:00:00.000-04:00

Day 29: 3 Things You Can't Live Without

1. My cell phone. It had every contact I ever seem to need, my email, my Facebook, my schedule. I feel so out of touch when I don't have it even for a day!

2. Chapstick. I keep one in my purse, my car, on my nightstand, in my waitress apron. I am forever reaching for chapstick.

3. Coffee! With my schedule I need all the caffeine I can get!

Nearly Wordless Wednesday

2011-09-28T12:00:00.000-04:00

BEFORE

AFTER

September Challenge: Day 28

2011-09-28T08:00:00.000-04:00

Day 28: Favorite Books

My all time favorite book is Little Women by Lousia May Alcott. I try to read it every year or so. It's just a classic.

Then comes anything by Steve Kluger. He wrote Last Days of Summer and Almost Like Being in Love. If you haven't read those stop reading this blog, go to the library and get them! They make me laugh out loud when I'm reading them.

And one of the most well written books I've ever read is The Rent Tent by Anita Diamant. It's based on a biblical story and I couldn't put it down.

Sad Update

2011-09-27T18:27:00.002-04:00

I have never made 3 posts in one day but I need to post a quick update from this afternoon. I just got word from PC that the softball player from last night, Joel, passed away. He was 31 years old. He had a heart attack last night and was undergoing surgery today. His heart was strong enough to make it but his lungs weren't. Please keep this mans family in your prayers as they are on their way here this evening. And please keep his teammates in your prayers as well. I know if we lost a teammate it would effect every one of us and I imagine they feel the same way.

Small Miracles

2011-09-27T16:00:00.000-04:00

You know, they say things happen for a reason. Often times we don't know what that reason is. I can tell you that when I got hit in the face with a foul ball I couldn't see a reason for that. But last night it because really clear why that happened.

Just like every Monday night I was out to play softball. We were playing against a really cool team. They were fun, laughing like we did and everything was going great. It was about the 4th inning and we'd just taken the field. I was standing behind home plate with the ump who called for a batter. That's when I looked over into the other teams dugout and saw them freaking out. One of their players was on the ground seizing. They were screaming for someone to call 911. The official outside the fence seemed frozen not knowing what to do. As people on the field crowded towards the dugout I went running in the opposite direction. All I could think was that there was a nurse on the team we played last week, the team that was playing on the field next to ours. I remembered because she kept checking on me after I got hit last week. That team must have thought I was a nutjob when I came tearing up to the field screaming for the nurse on the team. Eventually the EMT's did arrive. They ended up putting Joel, the guy on the ground, on a ventilator and taking him to the hospital. The EMT's said that the nurses from the other team and one of the girls on our team doing CPR is what saved this guys life. I've never been so thankful to have been hit before. PC, the pastor on our team, said he never would have remembered there was a nurse out there. God bless small miracles.

We've been getting updates since last night. Joel, a 31 year old guy, had a heart attack last night on the field. He is stable but they are still keeping him in the hospital for a while. Please keep him in your prayers. It was scary to be there watching what happened. Not something I ever want to see again.

September Challenge: Day 27

2011-09-27T08:00:00.000-04:00

Day 27: 3 Wishes

Wish 1
I wish to have love in my life always. Whether it's family, friends or romantic love I wouldn't want to live a life without that.

Wish 2
I wish to make a difference in someones life.

Wish 3
I wish to be happy. Not all the time, not in a life without problems. But overall I just want to feel happy with my life.

Saved

2011-09-26T12:00:00.001-04:00

So we are about to start a new series with our youth group. On Friday night we had a big kick off concert to get even more kids out and last night was movie night. We watched To Save A Life. It's a hard hitting movie about teen suicide, pregnancy, drinking and making choices about faith. Some of the other youth leaders had seen the movie before and knew what was coming but I didn't. And it hit me pretty hard because of something I don't usually share.

When I was a sophomore in high school things were bad. I was a 10th grader taking AP history, English that was 12th grade or college level, math that was mainly 11th and 12 graders and Spanish that was supposed to be for 11th graders. I was in over my head academically and my parents pushed me harder and harder the worse I did. I understand they wanted me to be the best I could be but I was drowning. I was grounded because I had C's in classes. And not grounded like I hear kids today get grounded but still have their electronics. I had no phone in my room, wasn't allowed on the computer unless it was for homework and then I had to prove that, no tv, no going out with friends. And the worst part for me, no band. I was a marching band geek and that was my one outlet for all my stress.

Having everything taken away was killing me. My friends at school had no idea. I tried so hard to let everyone think I was just peachy keen. Only one person had a tiny idea something wasn't right. Sugar Britches. He was my best friend back then and while I lied and said I was just fine, he knew things weren't so great but he wouldn't push me to tell him.

December 18th 1999 was my worst point. The day it was almost over. I was at home trying to study for some AP history test. Nothing I was reading was making sense. I was sitting in a nearly dark room because my head was pounding. My dad was the only other person home and the more I complained about my head the more short he got with me. I was supposed to be studying and it probably seemed like I was just making excuses to stop. I'd already taken asprin earlier and he told me if my head was so bad I should just take the whole bottle.

Before anyone says he's a bad dad he was not. He was just fed up with me and he had NO IDEA what was going through my head those days. I walked into the kitchen and opened the cabinet to get the asprin out. While I was standing there looking at the Benadryl and cold meds and everything else I could mix to just make it all end the phone rang. I remember reaching for that asprin bottle when my dad yelled at me to get the phone, that it was for me and I better make it quick.

I hardly got out a "hi" before Sugar Britches was talking. He said he knew I was grounded and that I wasn't allowed on the phone but that he just had to call me and make sure I was ok. That for some reason he knew he needed to check on me.

Call it what you want. God. Fate. One heck of a coincidence. But it saved my life. It was one voice saying "I care, you're not alone."

Since that day almost 12 years ago I have had bad days. I've been depressed. I've seen a shrink. I've felt at the end of my rope. But never have I gotten to the point where I thought not being here, not living, was the best choice.

I know people can't always understand why I can't get mad and stay mad at Sugar Britches. Why it's hard for me to just let him go. It's because I know that without him, without that 30 second phone call I wouldn't be here. I hope with this series at church we are able to do for even one person what he did for me. Because that's all it takes. One person.

September Challenge: Day 26

2011-09-26T08:00:00.000-04:00

Day 26: Best Concert You've Been To

I've been to a lot of concerts.

My first one was Beach Boys and Chicago in 1997. I was, and still am, a huge Beach Boys fan so that will always be one of my top concerts.

Then when I turned 18 my mother bought tickets for us to see Aerosmith and Kid Rock together. My all time favorite song is Love In An Elevator so it was fantastic to get to see it performed live. I think that is one of the last times Aerosmith was scheduled to be here and actually performed. Something always seems to happen to cancel concerts in this area.

And of course this summer Sister and I went to see Foreigner and Journey together and Train and Maroon 5 with mom. Both of those were amazing concerts.

How could I pick just one?

To Cut Or Not To Cut

2011-09-25T08:18:00.005-04:00

So I've hit that point with my hair where I NEED change. I've been trying to grow it out in attempt to donate it but I can't take it. It's making me crazy! I'm not a long hair girl. I usually get it just past my shoulders and then chop it to my chin ala Reese Whitherspoon in Sweet Home Alabama.
This is what it's looking like now. It's long, stick straight and does nothing! It's so thick that it's heavy and won't hold curls because of the weight. I need to get it re-colored soon because the roots are coming in way darker than the blonde I went with in February.

Friday night I was playing around in the mirror to see what it will look like short again and I kinda like it like this. It's still long-ish, maybe too long for me. So I went looking for pictures online to show my stylist (aka my Aunt K who HATES cutting my hair short!)

This could work

And this one is my favorite. I'm in love with this look! Wonder if I can talk Aunt K into it! What do yall think?

September Challenge: Day 25

2011-09-25T08:00:00.000-04:00

Day 25: Put Your iPod on Shuffle and Share the First 10 Songs

Sister hijacked my iPod in August for her trip to Colorado I don't have it to play around with. Which might be a good thing. I haven't put new music on there in AGES! It's a pretty bad selection. Since I can't share that music I'll just share my top 10 songs right now that will make me stop channel surfing on the radio.

1. Someone Like You- Adele
2. Rolling in the Deep- Adele
3. Moves Like Jagger- Maroon 5
4. Marry Me- Train
5. Lighters- Eminem
6. Easy- Rascal Flatts & Natasha Bettingfield
7. Storm Warning- Hunter Hayes
8. You and I- Lady Gaga
9. Super Bass- Nicki Minaj

And number 10 is guaranteed to make me change the station!

10. God Gave Me You- Blake Shelton

September Challenge: Day 24

2011-09-24T08:00:00.001-04:00

Day 24: Favorite Place to Shop

I have 2 top stores.

Old Navy is my go-to for basics. Jeans, work pants, sweaters (they have a good selection of argyle usually!) It's the only place I find jeans that fit. I have a big behind, curvy hips and short legs. You try finding pants! For a while I worked at Old Navy and I swear thanks to the discount I got I didn't wear clothing from anywhere else! It would take a lot to make me stop shopping there.

Ross is my other favorite store. It's kinda like a TJ Maxx or Marshalls but less expensive. I buy most of my teaching dresses and tops there. I don't have a dress from there that cost more than $20 and most of them had $40 original tags on them. Sure it can be a pain to hunt and search racks to find something good, but it's usually worth it for the deals you can get.

September Challenge: Day 22

2011-09-22T08:00:00.000-04:00

Day 22: Share About Your Hobbies

I guess I'd say I only have 2 major hobbies. One is nerdy, the other is bruising me weekly.

First up is reading. I'm a huge giant bookworm. You can see by my reading lists that this year alone I've read over 50 books already and there are still 3 months til the end of the year. I will read almost anything. I'm always looking for book suggestions. I've been a reader since I was a kid. I remember reading the entire Babysitters Club series followed by all the Little House on the Prairie and then Boxcar Kids in one year. I knew the librarians better than my teachers usually.

And my other hobby is softball. I drive over an hour just to get to practice and games. I have actual gym shorts and enough knee socks to keep me styling on the field all season. I love my teammates. I love the games. I even love the bruises. I'm proud of my first black eye! And I'm proud of the improvements I've made playing since the first season. Who would have thought a band geek would become an athlete?!

September Challenge: Day 21

2011-09-21T16:32:00.001-04:00

Day 21: Stress

Oh come on now! We all know I stress about everything. I'm going to give myself grey hair before I'm 30 the way I stress out.

I stress about money and bills and work and money.

I stress about dating, relationships, men and if I'll ever find Prince Charmingenough.

I stress about my living situation and my mother and if I can ever move out.

I just stress!

September Challenge: Day 20 (AKA The Black Eye!)

2011-09-20T11:36:00.003-04:00

Day 20: Share A Picture Of Yourself

I have to say that I'm actually kinda glad I didn't pre-write this post. I've been writing my challenge posts when I have a chance to do 2 or 3 at a time but got stuck on what picture to share for today. After last night I've got a couple great ones though!

Monday nights are softball night for me. I love playing. This is my 3rd season with this team and while I have to drive an hour+ to get to the games I wouldn't trade my team for anything. They pick on my socks all the time so last night I picked up a pair for Mrs K. We match now!

I've been playing catcher for this team since the start. Since we play in a slow pitch co-ed rec league I don't wear any gear. Sometimes I'll wear a mouth guard b/c I like my teeth but for the most part the hits I take are to my legs so I'm not to worried. In fact I was having that conversation with the ump (who was standing so far up my rear he owes me dinner!) right before the start of the 6th inning of our 2nd game. We only play 7 innings and so far I'd been doing ok with the bruising. 3rd batter got up to plate and I was squatted down ready to go. Telling PC to strike her out so I could get out of the mud. She swings! She makes contact! And the ball is going backwards. Right towards my face. It was like it was happening in slow motion. I could see it coming and there was nothing I could do. It felt like minuets when really it was just seconds.

POW!

The ball hit my eye so hard my glasses fell off and broke. I hit the dirt. I could hear a friend from the team running towards me (he's an ex who I'm really good friends with ) and I could hear PC saying he had my glasses. I was trying so hard not to cry. I was going *sniffle* I'm fine *sniffle* The ump was doing everything he could to get me off the field and PC was looking at him like he was crazy! I've been hit before and unless there is blood I'm not going anywhere! The other team was yelling for ice and a nurse was running out to check on me. No broken eye socket, no broken nose! Go me! As soon as my glasses were in one piece again I put my glove back on and was ready to go! No way was I not finishing 2 innings!

When I got home and took off my make up I could see it starting to bruise a little. I text my dad about it because he use to play catcher too. He was proud of me for continuing to play. I'm no wuss!

Now today it's a little ugly. I think Cover Girl should package this shade of purple! I can never find it in the store. Not bad for my 1st black eye ever huh?