Tonight I sat down with my pastor to talk. I've been having a harder time adjusting to being back at the beach than I assumed I would. I've been sad and bitter and angry. It took sitting down with him to get a different point of view on things.
First off, there I was complaining about not seeing my husband to a man who had to bury his wife last year. That in itself made me feel bad. I get to wake up every day and tell the Marine I love him. He tells me all the time he can't wait to be with me again. We are lucky enough to have that. Pastor S doesn't. He has memories and pictures. I need to be thankful for what I have.
Then Pastor S helped me realized that while most couples have this great physical connection they don't take the time to learn to emotionally be intimate or work on their spiritual intimacy. Don't get me wrong, I love the physical connection I have with the Marine when we see each other. But I am so thankful that we have this time apart to get to talk. To get to learn how to communicate with each other. Yes, it's hard to be apart and not have him there to hug me on a bad day. But he can talk me through it and calm me down like no one ever has before. If we were together all the time we may never have learned to say what we need to in an effective way.
And I really need to pull my head out of my butt and realize I have been given everything I prayed for. For two years I prayed (and worked hard!) to join the Navy. I had doors slammed in my face and my body criticized. But I wanted to bad enough to keep praying for it. Now I'm living my dream. Kinda. I need to be thankful for the places I'll get to see in the next few months that I wouldn't in a normal job. I need to realize how amazing it is to have a job that has allowed me to pay off $7,000 in debt since the start of the year. I need to take advantage of every opportunity that comes my way because only 1% of the US population is in the military and living the life I'm blessed to have.
I also prayed for a long time for a husband and God answered me big time with the Marine. I couldn't have designed a more perfect husband for myself if I tried! That man loves me like no one ever could. I may not get to be with him as often as I'd like. But this time apart, the hard parts that I feel like might kill me some days, they are just hard times. It doesn't mean we have a hard life or a bad marriage or that things won't work out in the end. It just is giving us the chance to build one heck of a foundation for when we pull through the bad days and get to the good ones. And it will make us appreciate the good even more. We just need to get there.























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